[Amandasmom]

Hi, Thursday was 6 months I stopped cutting. My T told me to celebrate. Instead I cut again. I had a terrible day. I saw my abuser. I'm so nervous to tell my T. I know she will b disappointed. I hope she doesn't terminate me. I see her on Tuesday. I don't know what to do.

[puzzclar]

Stay calm. That reaction you can predict and you can't control that reaction.

[David866]

Originally Posted by Amandasmom

Hi, Thursday was 6 months I stopped cutting. My T told me to celebrate. Instead I cut again. I had a terrible day. I saw my abuser. I'm so nervous to tell my T. I know she will b disappointed. I hope she doesn't terminate me. I see her on Tuesday. I don't know what to do.

Relapse is very common, especially on a day that has meaning. I am guessing you never got any degree of closure in regards to your abuser, if closure is even possible. I don't think there is any greater trigger than contact with the past.

Forgive yourself for what happened Thurs. Don't try to hide it from your T. That's why she's there. If you are afraid she might terminate your sessions, perhaps there is a trust issue. On the other hand, you might be over reacting to the guilt you feel about cutting, and the fear you have of disappointing your T. If she is true to her calling, she will help you through this. If not, you may be better off somewhere else.
Good luck, best wishes. David

[Bewilderbeest]

Originally Posted by David866

Don't try to hide it from your T. That's why she's there. If you are afraid she might terminate your sessions, perhaps there is a trust issue. On the other hand, you might be over reacting to the guilt you feel about cutting, and the fear you have of disappointing your T. If she is true to her calling, she will help you through this. If not, you may be better off somewhere else.

Seconded. Your T won't terminate you over this, that's just your guilty feelings talking. You'll be OK, just take it slow.

[ifst5]

I'm surprised at the level of expectation on this board - we see so many posts where members feel dreadful and hopeless for having relapsed when it's a big part of the whole process. Most of us can never expect to cease cutting forever. The emphasis should be on reducing self injurious episodes not totally eliminating them. You went 6 months and that's truly commendable and you were triggered by a very justifiable urge. What work is being done on your abuse issues? I also feel it was ill advised of your psychiatrist to tell you to celebrate being clean for 6 months - that places a lot of unnecessary pressure on you to confirm to her expectations for recovery. Remember, you've taken a slight detour - you haven't fallen off the tracks completely. Good luck.