[Browncurtains]

I've stopped cutting. It's been two days. Now instead of cutting I find myself thinking about suicide. I don't want to die, but I am finding myself thinking about it all the time. I didn't feel like this when I cut though, it's only after is stopped do I think these thoughts. I'm angrier too. I'm much more easily frustrated and it's really interfering with my school. I want it to stop but the only time it will stop is when I cut. I don't want to kill myself, so why I am I thinking about death?!

[Frankbtl]

Hi Browncurtains, technically it can sound so easy to stop cutting e.g. "I just won't do it, I'll use willpower, and I'll do.........instead" but it can be so far from easy
Now you have done fantastic in holding off for those two days, so well done!!! but there's still the urges, there's still the "need", there's still the gap where the cutting was/isn't and everything from that flooding in, right??
And I could tell you to hang in there and it can get better in time, which is true, it can!!
But right now, is there anyone you can talk to about the way you're feeling?? Because that is important. Anyone.........parents, teacher/tutor, school counselor?? It shouldn't be something you're ashamed, afraid.........to talk about. And maybe they can help you with some of the reasons you might have started cutting too.
Because, no denying it cutting can give temporary relief, but longer term.............
So please think about trying to talk to someone............you're doing so well sharing with us, so if there's just one more person "IRL" who may be able to help, who you can talk to about the way you're feeling??

Alison