Cutting Calmness(TRIGGER WARNING)

You'd think that when I take a blade to my skin that I would be hyperventilating, crying, sobbing uncontrollably, but when I feel my skin split in two is when I feel most calm. I need help, but I don't know how to tell my parents. They'd be crushed if they figured out what I was doing to myself. Is there anyway I could see a therapist on the down low? I just need help.

I don't imagine you can if you are under age. I may be wrong of course, but yeah. You could try an online therapist??

Your situation sounds like mine. I've tried for months but there's no way I can see a therapist or get help without telling my parents. Do you go to a public school? If you do you can talk to a counselor. Just know we are all here to help!

you could possibly approach a guidance counselor at school. at least then they would be the ones to talk to your parents about it...
Hope you can get the help you need.

oh, and it's really calming for me too... so you are not alone in that...

Its calming because your body is releasing calming chemicals when you cut. Its a body defense mechanism, such as when you're injured, it doesn't help you to get hysterical, rather, it helps you to be calm so that you can get through it all. That is, we are designed to be calm when injured in order to survive.

Can you talk to an adult or counselor at school? I have read a number of your posts and it breaks my heart to hear about how you don't have support at home. [I am a recovering self-injurer myself.]

I can only reiterate what the above poster has said - your feelings of calm are indicative of a simple chemical reaction - it needn't imply a propensity towards enjoying or being unable to overcome this sort of thing. Self harm also takes different forms - it doesn't always include the dramatic scenes depicted in film or online.

Help for young people outside of strict parental authority isn't impossible - there are hotlines, guidance forums, support groups, school counselors, you can also ask your doctor for advice.

Please know that what you're going through is very common - the important thing is that you recognize it's a problem and you want help. That is essential for recovery.