[i dont matter]

Sometimes I fall into a "session" of self harm when I do not even feel the normal self-hatred that fuels most of my self harm desires..... Sometimes it is a feeling more like 'it has been too long since I'......

Anyone else?

[Blue_Bird]

When I used to cut I sometimes felt like that

[Frankbtl]

Hi IDM, when it's been a big part in your life........in coping........sometimes even if the old/usual feelings aren't there it can still feel like there's something missing........a gap.........
And it's something you can associate with feeling "better" even if things aren't that bad anyway when you're thinking about it.............
Or even things in the back of your mind like "thing's shouldn't be this good for me, I need to............."/"OK, they've been good long enough"/"OK, I can stop if I want to, but I don't want too"
And it is an addiction, of course............
But IDM, please try to keep yourself as safe as you can. Really glad about the breaks from the "normal self-hatred" because you matter so much, and you do deserve so much more than the SH.
I do know it can be SO hard not to but try to hang in there as far as you can, hey??

Alison

[SeekerOfLife]

Hello, IDM. Well, not too long back, I had an awful client situation. I actually wanted to self harm with XXXX, to punish myself for getting into a bad situation. But as I was so busy, I kept telling myself, "I will do it before I go to bed." But, my busyness kept me from self harm altogether. Kind of glad I never did do it.
Hope you are doing ok now.