[katelyn1019]

I think I am ready to confide in my parents and tell them that I have been harming myself. I just need help on what to say to them. Everything I think of sounds weird or just wrong. I don't know how to explain it, but my parents have no idea that I self harm or that I have ever self harmed and I need help. How should I tell them..?

[CANDC]

Katelyn, I don't think it is easy for a parent to hear their child is self-harming. What do you hope to get by telling them? I am not saying you should not confide in them, especially if it will help you stop, but what are they able to hear. Some parents hear stuff like that and want to take you to the emergency room.

One way is to slowly let them in on your frustrations in school. Maybe they already know about the self-harm and don't know how to deal with it. I think the easiest thing would be if you stop self harming then tell them you are working on this problem. Do you think your parents could hear that and not go into a panic?

What help are you getting from a pdoc or therapist?

Maybe that is the way to approach it, talk about problems in general without talking specifically about self harm with the intention of getting their help with therapy or medicines. Of course if you are over 18 you can do that on your own.

The body is our friend one of my teachers used to say. Don't do anything to harm it or we may lose that friendship.

[katelyn1019]

Originally Posted by CANDC

Katelyn, I don't think it is easy for a parent to hear their child is self-harming. What do you hope to get by telling them? I am not saying you should not confide in them, especially if it will help you stop, but what are they able to hear. Some parents hear stuff like that and want to take you to the emergency room.

One way is to slowly let them in on your frustrations in school. Maybe they already know about the self-harm and don't know how to deal with it. I think the easiest thing would be if you stop self harming then tell them you are working on this problem. Do you think your parents could hear that and not go into a panic?

What help are you getting from a pdoc or therapist?

Maybe that is the way to approach it, talk about problems in general without talking specifically about self harm with the intention of getting their help with therapy or medicines. Of course if you are over 18 you can do that on your own.

The body is our friend one of my teachers used to say. Don't do anything to harm it or we may lose that friendship.

I have been telling them about my frustrations and stuff like that for the past two weeks or so. I am not sure what I would like to accomplish when telling them that I've been harming myself, I can't imagine how hard it would be for a parent to hear that their child has been hurting themselves, but I don't know what else to do. I don't see a therapist or a pdoc (nor have I ever) but I think I need to start seeing one.

I want to tell them, need to tell them, but I feel as though they'd get angry or something. I'm scared, but I know I need help. I've tried stopping by myself and I can't.

[CANDC]

Originally Posted by katelyn1019

I have been telling them about my frustrations and stuff like that for the past two weeks or so. I am not sure what I would like to accomplish when telling them that I've been harming myself, I can't imagine how hard it would be for a parent to hear that their child has been hurting themselves, but I don't know what else to do. I don't see a therapist or a pdoc (nor have I ever) but I think I need to start seeing one.

I want to tell them, need to tell them, but I feel as though they'd get angry or something. I'm scared, but I know I need help. I've tried stopping by myself and I can't.

katelyn, congratulations on recognizing that you need help. That is the first step to getting better.

So maybe the reason to tell them if you need their help to get a psychiatrist so you can get medicines to stabilize your emotions or a therapist to help root out the causes.

Okay so maybe you need to check out what their insurance would cover. Maybe rather than talking about the specific problem, you could ask them if their insurance would cover visits to a therapist (most cover 26 visits a year, but some less) or to a psychiatrist to SEE if they think you need medicine. By talking first about the solution they may be less panicked. Even if you only tell them you are depressed that might be enough to convince them to let you see a professional. If not you could say your emotions are interfering with school.

I am trying to find the point that they see a critical need. You can eventually tell them if you don't tell them now, but if that is what it takes to get you professional help then certainly tell them. Tell them as much as they can hear and still get the professional help you need.

I am not suggesting withholding info just telling them as much as they can hear

How does that sound?

[katelyn1019]

Originally Posted by CANDC

katelyn, congratulations on recognizing that you need help. That is the first step to getting better.

So maybe the reason to tell them if you need their help to get a psychiatrist so you can get medicines to stabilize your emotions or a therapist to help root out the causes.

Okay so maybe you need to check out what their insurance would cover. Maybe rather than talking about the specific problem, you could ask them if their insurance would cover visits to a therapist (most cover 26 visits a year, but some less) or to a psychiatrist to SEE if they think you need medicine. By talking first about the solution they may be less panicked. Even if you only tell them you are depressed that might be enough to convince them to let you see a professional. If not you could say your emotions are interfering with school.

I am trying to find the point that they see a critical need. You can eventually tell them if you don't tell them now, but if that is what it takes to get you professional help then certainly tell them. Tell them as much as they can hear and still get the professional help you need.

I am not suggesting withholding info just telling them as much as they can hear

How does that sound?

Thank you so much, this has helped tremendously. They already know that I have anxiety so maybe I could tell them that I need to see a therapist about that. I can't thank you enough.

[SparkyCat]

The way I told my parents was first to let them in on the fact that I'm struggling, and that I want to find a way to get better. For me, I then went on to say that I'd been harming myself but that I really want help to stop. In my case I then told them what support I had managed to get out of the mental health team but in your case it sounds more like you need to tell them that you want their help in getting some proper help. If your harming isn't a sui attempt then tell them that. Explain why you hurt yourself - perhaps that it's how you cope because you just don't know how. And reassure them that it's not their fault because they will almost certainly ask themselves that.

Hope this helps.

[Ad Intra]

I wrote them a letter saying that I needed to talk to them about something very serious. They sat me down the next day and I told them.