[puzzclar]

I've been thinking about this, is there a better reason for me not to si? Is there more to life than feeling hopeless, anxious, and stressed from trauma? I accept that I have been traumatized, and there's a big stigma around it for me, but is there a better reason??

My program is almost up, financially I'm having problems, and there's lots of stress towards life. But is there a better reason to not si?? I'm sitting here thinking of all the stress, and physical pain due to the past week, and feeling triggered, and all I want is to si. But, is there a better reason? In a group this week, a member mentioned a reason to not si, a long term reason, but I don't know what I want from life. I'm frustrated, and hurt, and just want someone to say, it's going to be okay. I have one class that I'm more worried about, then the rest. I need to get things done but right now I'm in that area of thinking that for me has been dangerous. I need a creative break... but what.....

For those that have had a better reason to not, what is it??

[CANDC]

Hi puzzclar. You ask a question " is there a better reason?" [to not SI]

I remember when I was in grade school, bigger kids picked on me sometimes just because I was vulnerable. It made me feel unwanted.

When we do harm to oiur vulnerable body, we are like the bullies picking on the most vulnerable kid they can find. We are hurting them for no good reason. no one is helped by it. It is just mean to do it to a helpless vulnerable body.

I could understand if you wanted to shower and pamper your body, or stretch and get out some of the kinks out. I could understand how if you wanted to find a comfortable seat or bed and listen to quiet music. I could understand if you went a little wild and had some ice cream.

You say "I need a creative break"

What I do when I need a creative break is arrange some flowers, or paint a beautiful landscape or sing a song.

My body hurts enough all by the stresses and strains of life. I am trying every day to find some way for my body to hurt less.

A friend does yoga, that is one of their outlets. (go to youtube.com search for adrienne yoga and you will find many options. Complete beginner is a good place to start.

I guess the best reason I have is I love my body like a child, my child to nurture and protect. I guess I have a relationship with my body that I have struggled with for years, but I want it to work, this relationship. I want to take care of my child and have it grow up and live a complete life. I guess that is my deepest reason.