[Khione]

This could be potentionally triggering, so yeah.

I feel so guilty and bad about the fact that I cut again. I spoke to my boyfriend and he is being supportive (i.e. not pressuring me to stop or give up my blades etc). I also feel guilty about how I don't want to stop..

Is it really messed up that I don't really want to stop? I like self-harming, I like having the cuts and the scars. It's almost a validation of how I feel and if I look at my cuts, it makes me want to do it more and have more cuts on me.

Am I alone in this? I feel like I have no one to talk to anymore. My boyfriend doesn't understand how I feel and I don't expect him to. But can anyone on here relate?

[CANDC]

Khione, I am sorry you feel the need to self harm. It is a form of abuse and no one should have to live with abuse.

Here are some links to people searching for answers to dealing with self harm.
Psych Central - Search results for Self injury safety plan

[Crazy Hitch]

Honestly? I think your thought processes expressed here are shared by some others, I really do, because there's an element to which I can personally relate, so I don't think just you and I are the only ones. No, my husband doesn't get that part of me either.

Having said this, here's the thing for me. When I'm not in a state of wanting to self harm, personally, when I'm out and I notice other people noticing ... that makes me embarrassed .... do you feel like this when you're out by any chance?

[Khione]

I don't feel embarrassed, more ashamed or worried about what they think of them - though I'm like that about what I wear etc. I've got scars on my arms which have been there for years now and I don't care about people seeing them. Recently the cuts are on my leg because I start a new job soon and I don't want to risk being fired, so unless I wear shorts, I don't have to worry about people seeing them.

[falsememory7]

You're not the only one, Khione - I feel the same way actually. I have scars on my arm and leg, and *sometimes* I feel embarrassed, especially during the summer when I see people stare, but mostly it's a righteous validation to myself. A lot of times, I just keep thinking about how I want to do it all over my body, make it match exactly how I feel inside, though I don't know if I ever could, because I feel like total utter s**t most times. But... long story short, I get it. I don't know anyone (except for on PC) that really get it, and I don't expect them to.