[Butterfly Crisis]

So, I have this friend and he has a daughter who is 11 years old. Their family life is a little hellish, specifically our friend (her dad) has a drinking problem. Yesterday, while we were hanging out, he got so drunk that he stopped making any sense and his daughter was clearly upset. There have been multiple times in the past where she's been upset and it just goes over his head entirely.

I saw a cut on her arm yesterday. I'm almost certain it was self-inflicted. I was a cutter myself for a very long time (and still battle with it), I've seen many other types of self-inflicted cuts thanks to years in hospitals and treatment centers.. Am I just being pretentious in thinking this is for-sure a cut?

With all of the pieces put in place with what I know of her and her home life, it seems entirely plausible and I feel so much pain for her. I feel like I'm watching myself at that age, we're a lot alike. I don't know what to do, if I could help.. What... What should I do..?

[ThisWayOut]

I dunno what I would do in that situation. Can you talk to the kid? Maybe get her to open up if you feel comfortable in doing that? Even just knowing there's someone supportive around might help some. Is there an other adult in her life responsible for her that you could also talk to about your concerns?
I know if anyone asked me at that age, won my trust, and offered to just be a safe person to talk to, it would have made a world of difference.

It's a really tough spot to be in though, and I am not sure I would know totally how to approach any of what I suggested. I would be careful though, as you say you are still struggling with it. Just be aware of how much you are triggered by all this, and make sure to take care of yourself too

[OneLove92]

I would possibly ask her dad, your friend, if you and his daughter could go out for a girls day. Like maybe getting nails done etc that kinda thing. She's less likely to talk in a high tension area like her home. And try leading up to it. If her father is anything like mine don't tell him. Allow her to do that. As hard as it is, my dad belittled me about my SI so bad I resorted back to it and ended up in ER for stitiches.
If your a cutter too, let her know that. Let her know that you feel her pain etc and what she can do to get help. Offer your support as much as possible. that's the only thing I can think of.

[Fizzyo]

Butterfly Crisis, this is so hard for you but if you can reach out to her it will make so much difference. Also if she has a phone, friendly text messages when you don't see her can remind her that she is valued by you(she probably won't reply). I Sent text messages to a young friend of mine and later she said it made a huge difference to her even though she didn't respond at the time. Also take care of yourself, you deserve it too.

[SillyKitty]

This is such a sticky situation. I like the idea of a girl's day. Just make sure to let her know how much of a problem this is and was for you. My 18 year old knows I "used to" SI and her best friend cuts. She decided it was okay to try if it made her mom and her friend felt better afterwards. I guess neither of us impressed upon her how dangerous it can be after all. Luckily she couldn't stop the bleeding, and got scared. Plus she said it hurt! No kidding.