[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

My scars and wounds represent many things. Depression, anxiety, feeling worthless, feeling abandoned, emotional pain, sadness, hopelessness, stress, guilt, anger, suicidality, etc. But mostly depression and an attempt to numb the pain in my head. I have Xanax, but all it does is make me sleep. I probably have 300 mg sitting here. I've tried all of the benzos and antidepressants over 14 years. I wish weed were legal here. It's the only thing that's ever kept me safe.

[OneLove92]

Where are you from? You should be able to get a medical marijuana card.... I have one.

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

I wish so much. I'm in a state in the USA that doesn't allow that. Maybe in 10 years if I'm lucky and still alive...

[Coffeelover1920]

It can be hard to find medication that works. I know I have been seeing a psychiatrist since I was 17 and I still haven't found a combination that makes me feel better. But, that doesn't mean it won't ever happen. Sometimes it can take a really long time to find the medication that is going to work for you. It took my dad years to find a combination that works decently.

Do you think that you could work on finding positive coping skills to deal with your self harm? I know that there are things that help with it but it can take time to find those alternatives.

Don't give up on finding a combination that will help you. Just keep going and try to cherish the good things that happen. Maybe you could keep a gratitude journal or a happiness journal to remind yourself of the things that make you happy? I've had this suggested to me a few times and I've never really done it but I think for some people it could be really beneficial.

Best of luck and if you ever want to chat feel free to message me.