[CANDC]

I noticed this article on the myths of self harm. It should also be subtitled coping with thoughts of self harm and other resources. It is someone's experience and also a way out. I felt it helped me so I am sharing a brief excerpt of it and a link to the full article. by Nicole Lyons, a blogger and person experiencing self harm and finding a way out.

Excerpt
"A lot of people are under the illusion that self-harm is defined by that emo or goth teenager dressed in black that keeps to themselves, when in reality, self-harm does not discriminate, it’s just like mental illness in that aspect, but it is not exclusive to people who have a diagnosis of mental illness. Self-harm can effect anyone from any background, race or gender."

"If you are the one who is self-harming, please don’t give up. I promise you that you can recover from this. I’m not just another person blowing smoke at you; I’m someone who used self-harm as an unhealthy coping mechanism for ten years. It’s been seven years now since I’ve hurt myself. You can do this! The first thing that you must understand is that relapse is a very real possibility and if it happens it doesn’t mean that you can’t start over again. The hardest thing about choosing to get well is that you have to want it. You have to put in the effort and you have to fight for it. You must make a commitment to do this. It’s hard, I’m not going to lie, but it’s doable and you are worth it. One of the best things that I did was talk to people who were in recovery from self-harm, they gave me hope and I realized that I wasn’t alone and that I could find healthy coping techniques."

Whole article
Self-Harm: The Myths & the Facts | Embracing Balance

[StillIntending]

Honestly if I simply stopped cutting right now, I wouldn't even be able to call it "recovery," as I haven't made that many cuts yet, and I don't do it pathologically–only when triggered. So. I guess I really shouldn't even be complaining.
I'm sorry, that's really defeatist.
I really shouldn't even post this, but apparently I'm a horrible enough person that I'm going to anyway.

[TheOriginalMe]

Originally Posted by StillIntending

Honestly if I simply stopped cutting right now, I wouldn't even be able to call it "recovery," as I haven't made that many cuts yet, and I don't do it pathologically–only when triggered. So. I guess I really shouldn't even be complaining.
I'm sorry, that's really defeatist.
I really shouldn't even post this, but apparently I'm a horrible enough person that I'm going to anyway.

If you stopped cutting then it would be a choice to be gentler towards yourself. That would be progress. You may or may not be in recovery from the underlying issue but you would be choosing not to let this be part of your life. I'm like you my si isn't habitual but I took the step not to continue and try to be a bit more like the stronger me.

thanks for sharing that artickle here..

[StillIntending]

Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe

If you stopped cutting then it would be a choice to be gentler towards yourself. That would be progress. You may or may not be in recovery from the underlying issue but you would be choosing not to let this be part of your life. I'm like you my si isn't habitual but I took the step not to continue and try to be a bit more like the stronger me.

Well, to be fair it gets pretty hard to say no to it, after I've been triggered. See. I either self harm while suicidal, and the purpose of it is to train myself to hurt myself so that I can kill myself later, or as punishment. If I didn't do it during either of those times, I'm sure it'd only fuel the thoughts of weakness, and make me feel even more false. I know that my thinking gets irrational when I've been triggered, but at that point there's no stopping it. And if my friend can't drop whatever he's doing to talk to me, it gets a lot worse. But anyway.
I don't know, maybe I want to be suicidal. Maybe I want to cut. Maybe I'm not actually depressed and just am this messed up as a person. Maybe I'm doing it for attention. Maybe I'm being manipulative. Maybe I could just snap out of it. Maybe I don't want to. Who, in the end, is really to say?

[TheOriginalMe]

Originally Posted by StillIntending

Well, to be fair it gets pretty hard to say no to it, after I've been triggered. See. I either self harm while suicidal, and the purpose of it is to train myself to hurt myself so that I can kill myself later, or as punishment. If I didn't do it during either of those times, I'm sure it'd only fuel the thoughts of weakness, and make me feel even more false. I know that my thinking gets irrational when I've been triggered, but at that point there's no stopping it. And if my friend can't drop whatever he's doing to talk to me, it gets a lot worse. But anyway.
I don't know, maybe I want to be suicidal. Maybe I want to cut. Maybe I'm not actually depressed and just am this messed up as a person. Maybe I'm doing it for attention. Maybe I'm being manipulative. Maybe I could just snap out of it. Maybe I don't want to. Who, in the end, is really to say?

I'm sorry you're having such a bad time. I'm sure that you are not a bad person no matter what you think, I hope that one day you'll see that for yourself.