[MaybeYes]

Is anyone's therapist okay with SI? I thought my T would be very against me cutting and want me to stop, but when I explained my "rules" he said he's okay with it. He equated it to smoking. It's obviously better if I don't cut, but because of my rules he thinks the benefits outweigh the harm right now. I guess I'm glad he doesn't freak out about it, but it also kind of bugs me. It kind of makes me want to break my rules and cut bad so he does freak out.

[ejayy78]

My t was okay with my si when I first started seeing her. I was always very careful about how I did it and my si rarely changed (from what I used, to cleaning it up, all the way down to how I cut, like the severity). If there were times I felt like I was at risk to myself or if I did need medical attention, I had a safety plan in place. My t went along with this until I told her I was done with si. At that point, she began holding me accountable to when I would harm myself and we talked about it. This is when she wasn't okay with it only because she knew I was ready to change. She was a lot more vocal about how it's a poor coping skill and stuff, since by the time I was ready to stop si, I had learned many new coping skills that were healthier for me.

My advice to you is to not try to get a reaction from your t but cutting badly. Maybe share those feelings with him, or share with him why it surprised you that he thought it was an okay thing when you told him about it.

[ScarletPimpernel]

If any T is supportive of SI, they're a bad T. On the flip side, you shouldn't be "disciplined" for it either. My T is not okay with my SI. Partially because I go too deep now and it's really dangerous. But she doesn't make me feel guilty or ashamed. We talk it through. We have a plan in place for if I do feel like SI'ing.

One of my ex-Ts who I saw for 4 years, used to ask every week to see my SI. She asked every week for 2 years. Then one day she didn't ask to see it. I was devastated. I thought she stopped caring about me. That week I tried to kill myself. Didn't work. I saw her the next week. I refused to talk to her. Finally, she told me to leave if I wasn't going to talk to her. I broke down crying. I told her that I felt like she didn't care because she didn't ask to see it the week before. Her response was that she does care. She said the reason she didn't ask is because she trusted me to be careful with my cutting. She also said that she didn't want me to think that all she cared about was the SI. She cared about me as a whole, not just for the SI.

[acceptance]

U r right. When I mentioned thinking of SI. My T was so cool with it..like its a normal thing...that I followed up...and SIed more confidently....after the first cut...there's no stopping. It becomes too addicitng. I loveee my temp. Scars...but they disappear in a week...then I do it again...
T has never asked me about SI again. Zero mention. I don't mention it either.

[ejayy78]

Originally Posted by ejayy78

My t was okay with my si when I first started seeing her. I was always very careful about how I did it and my si rarely changed (from what I used, to cleaning it up, all the way down to how I cut, like the severity). If there were times I felt like I was at risk to myself or if I did need medical attention, I had a safety plan in place. My t went along with this until I told her I was done with si. At that point, she began holding me accountable to when I would harm myself and we talked about it. This is when she wasn't okay with it only because she knew I was ready to change. She was a lot more vocal about how it's a poor coping skill and stuff, since by the time I was ready to stop si, I had learned many new coping skills that were healthier for me.

My advice to you is to not try to get a reaction from your t but cutting badly. Maybe share those feelings with him, or share with him why it surprised you that he thought it was an okay thing when you told him about it.

I just want to follow up with what I wrote last night by saying my t wasn't supportive of si. She obviously knew it wasn't a healthy coping skill for me or anyone. But on the flip side, she also knew I wasn't ready to move on from it, so she didn't often offer up other ways to cope until I said I was ready for that. During the time I was still harming myself, I knew the safety plan was (and still is) something my t took very seriously. She in no way just blew off my si like it was nothing to worry about.

[i dont matter]

My therapist openly says that my self harm is effective for myself. But we work for a BETTER way.

She also has a habit of asking me if I would want my daughter to self harm if she were dysfunctional. I hate when she does that.

[SheHulk07]

My Ts are not supportive, but they don't tell me it's awful/bad/etc. They understand WHY I do it, and they keep track of it because of my history.

Okay is not the right word. If your therapist ever uses the word that self injury is okay or compares it to a common vice like smoking, then your therapist is not using a good strategy. A better way to put it is that they see it as a problem to work on tackling together in a calm, non-judgmental fashion. It is a problem that needs to be corrected successfully in a constructive manner.

My T is like yours (MaybeYes) and ejayy and I Dont Matter. I'm not addicted to cutting and only cut shallow.

[PinkFlamingo99]

I don't think mine would consider it such an issue if I didn't cut so deep. The past few times were 20-something stitches each and now she and my pdoc really want me to stop (they work together @ the hospital outpatient). Last time I got lectures from everyone about how I was lucky I didn't cause any permanent damage by hitting a tendon. I keep getting told by both of them how dangerous it is, but they're used to seeing SH so I don't think they would be too upset with little, safer cuts. She has told me some patients with less severe self-harm problems refuse to stop and she has to respect that it's their body, even if she disagrees and thinks it's unhealthy.

She says she really doesn't like any SH that's deep enough to require stitches. She also doesn't like any cutting with a razor blade. That's everytime for me, otherwise I don't feel a point to it. They also really don't like that I don't care for it, rarely get stitches or even clean it. I've just started bandaging it because after the last time I promised I woukd at least do that. I'm trying really hard to stop. I have another form of self-harm I do that she thinks is risky and she keeps saying it's important I work harder at tryinh to stop that too.

It's hard to stop, whatever you get out of it.

[random_emotion]

My t doesn't like it but she said if that is the only thing that get me through the day then its ok but she hates how deep I cut