[Kildesortering]

I cut tonight, and in the morning I went to the doctor. I got 35 stitches on the cut, some internal but most of them normal.

I loved it. They didn't treat me as a stupid child, they treated me as an equal who had been hurt. I got the feeling that they truly cared, but not that they saw me as weak or anything like that. The doctor isn't one who shows a lot of feelings, but at the end he put his hand on my head and asked me to at least not cut in the weekend. The warmth of his hand and his question made me feel very safe.

I felt so safe and comfortable while he was stitching me up. I honestly didn't really want to leave, and I secretly wish I had cut even deeper so I could've been there longer...

I am so very triggered right now. I promised him I won't cut until monday, which is when I'll see him again. I just want that feeling of safety and comfort, that feeling of someone truly caring. While I have people around me who cares about me, it never feels as real as it did today.

I want to cut again.

what didstraction methods do you have to help you?

is their anyone that you can talk to?

we are always here too if you feel posting helps

[Kildesortering]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

what didstraction methods do you have to help you?

is their anyone that you can talk to?

we are always here too if you feel posting helps

I don't really have any distraction methods that work, except spending a lot of time planning it. I don't want my parents to find out about it, so I have to be careful.

I'm going to see a psychologist next month, but before that, not really...

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by Kildesortering

I don't really have any distraction methods that work, except spending a lot of time planning it. I don't want my parents to find out about it, so I have to be careful.

I'm going to see a psychologist next month, but before that, not really...

I was going to ask if you were seeing a therapist. That's someone who will care about you without you needing to hurt yourself to get his/her attention. Is the appointment early in the month at least? I see you're in another country--are there crisis hotlines that you can call?