[qiqilex]

Self-harm has lingered in my mind for a year now. The funny thing is that I'm young, what serious things have I been through in 13 years? Most of the people on here are x2 or older than me. In June, during school a girl was pissing me off. I lost my mind. I kept my mouth shut, didn't talk to anyone, including my friends. I was thinking about cutting myself with a blade of a disposable razor. A knife if that didn't work out. I walked home on my own, hyping my self up to do the deed. I get home, and stupidly grab a used razor. I tried dissembling the razor, tearing off flesh from my thumbs and ruining my bedding in the process. I thought my mom was coming into my room so I throw it across the room, haven't found it since. The next day when my mom wasn't home, the grabbed the knife she uses to chop meat up and hovered it above my wrist. I softly glazed it across but didn't go any further. I am a coward. Until today...

I just scratched 3 lines into my wrist with the sharpest scissors I've ever used. Stings, it's not as bad as I thought. So, yeah.

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[Victoria'smom]

Careful, cutting becomes addictive FAST. Trying to get help as fast as possible.

[Azvixxen]

qiqilex - I second Miguel'smom. It is an addictive alternative with long term results. My daughter began cutting at 12. She's 21 now and her entire left arm is nothing but a string of scars that are noticeable to everyone and look like just what they are. She wears long sleeves or just a single sleeve to try to hide them, but they are always there.

I love her, and in my eyes of course they are invisible now, but each time she goes for a job interview, or meets someone new, or attends a new class - there they are. And people are cruel and they do judge unfairly. She didn't finish high school because of all the whispers behind her back of "crazy cutter". It's bad enough growing up, but try not to give the evil people out there any more ammunition than they need if possible.

Please think of it and try other ways to relieve that need. Start by making a list of what different things you could do when that need comes over you.

And never feel that because of your age you matter any less. YOU MATTER - PERIOD.

[wildflowerchild25]

I agree, get help. I ruined my arms and legs and now must wear long sleeves and long pants to work every day so that the students and staff don't find out about it. Sometimes it's really super hot it my classroom but I still can't take my sweater off. It's embarrassing when people mention it.

It's a really hard habit to break. I had a point in high school where I just did it every day, even when I didn't want to. I couldn't kick it. And now it's my first reaction to everything that goes wrong. Thankfully I don't do it very often anymore. But even now at 28 I still struggle.

Don't let it become a habit. It's no good.

It is unusual to begin self-harmin in adulthood but I started self harming at 45. I did not do anything deep - more like abrasions and scratches just deep enough to draw beads of blood. I have to wear long sleeves during summer because it is only when my arm is tanned that the marks seem to show up. While I don't hide my bipoar for a second, I do get embarrassed about the marks on my arm - that is until recently.

Several weeks ago a neice (14) tried to hurt herself and it was discovered she had been self harming for some time. In solidarity to support her I have begun exposing my own marks. I think it has helped her knowing that she isn't alone.

[faerie_moon_x]

I had my first suicide attempt at 12, just because you're young doesn't mean you're not in pain. That used to make me so mad when I'd tell my dad I was depressed and he'd say "What do you have to be depressed about? You're a kid!"

Kids are people too.

Get some help. Reach out to an adult you trust. You're not alone and you don't need to self-harm. You can learn other ways to sooth yourself and because you're 13 it's a good time to learn. Lots of us here have been on that road and we don't want you to be on it with us.

A way my therapist tells me to self sooth myself is to give myself a hug. If I'm angry or scared, just wrap my arms around myself. If it's really bad, I go hug someone else (like my kids or my husband.) I'm 36 and I'm just learning this, don't wait like I did.

[qiqilex]

Wow. I didn't know how addictive it was or how it will affect your future. Lucky this was the first time and it'll be easy to break. Thank you so much for the insight.

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[ejayy78]

I agree with everyone else. I began self harming when I was about 6, but cutting when I was 12. I don't self harm at all anymore, but it's a struggle I wouldn't wish on anyone. I still deal with urges close to every day, and it's so frustrating. I encourage you to talk about it to someone, even if you have only done it one time.