Can't handle it anymore

I cant handle not cutting anymore. Well truth be told is I'm not handling life very well anymore. I'm such a **** up as a parent, daughter, sibling, aunty etc.

I don't have anyone irl except for kids. And my therapist. But it feels like shes trying to slowly leave me to. Or she's working with all of them against me. Its the only thing that helps me stay sane in this f***** up world of mine. Makes them stop yelling and from me giving up and giving in.

Maybe that's the best route. I just hate myself.

Hi OneLove. Sorry you are battling extreme depression. There are ways to cope with these kinds of stress, like self care and having a safety plan in case you find yourself in a crisis of confidence. Here is more on a safety plan that includes numbers for crisis lines that serve your area.
Psych Central - Search results for Safety plan

Common Hotline Phone Numbers | Psych Central

Did you see this article on the myths of self harm? It helped me. https://www.google.com/url?q=http://...GtLlzfGxFF4aPQ

For depression this intense, I would highly recommend a therapist and or psychiatrist, but if that is not possible, I would like to recommend a resource here at Psych Central that you can send in a question, and get a reply from the therapist as their time allows. Here is the link for that. Ask the Therapist

Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems though still there are more manageable.

There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring. Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com
Depression support chat is Thursday at 9PM EST but need 5 posts or replies to other's posts to enter forum. Anxiety Support Chat is on Friday at 8PM EST.

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

OneLove, I'm sorry you are hurting I wish I can help you with some inspiring words! Unfortunately what I'm experiencing is similar, so for now, all I can do is sending you a ((((((big))))) hug

Sun

Sorry things are sooooo hard for you. ((((((OneLove92)))))) sending hugs and more hugs.
Sorry I can't do more.