[usinf]

Not sure which forum since no one really wants to diagnose or deal with my issues. It might be complicated. ALL of my life I have dealt with demons. Later on in morphed into depression and several attempts at suicide. I have been sick with a rare stomach issue that prevents me from taking anything of caloric value with in the digestive system for the last two years and the pain that goes with it.
That brings me to the point where I am at posting for help as a last ditch effort. Thursday I tried acupuncture which really sent me for a mental loop. During the session I was left alone on the table for 20-30 minutes in extreme pain. I could see the demons digging the needles in further causing more pain. I then had surgery on Friday and in an extreme amount of pain. Now I want to literally rip my face off, stab myself, or some other form of hurting myself to get a brake from the pain Im in. Replacing pain with pain seems confusing to others but makes sense to me. Pain Ive had for years needs to be replaced. I cant even escape in the few hours of sleep I get without the pain or the horrific nightmares. I dont know what to do? Fighting the huge urge to hurt myself!!

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by usinf

Not sure which forum since no one really wants to diagnose or deal with my issues. It might be complicated. ALL of my life I have dealt with demons. Later on in morphed into depression and several attempts at suicide. I have been sick with a rare stomach issue that prevents me from taking anything of caloric value with in the digestive system for the last two years and the pain that goes with it.
That brings me to the point where I am at posting for help as a last ditch effort. Thursday I tried acupuncture which really sent me for a mental loop. During the session I was left alone on the table for 20-30 minutes in extreme pain. I could see the demons digging the needles in further causing more pain. I then had surgery on Friday and in an extreme amount of pain. Now I want to literally rip my face off, stab myself, or some other form of hurting myself to get a brake from the pain Im in. Replacing pain with pain seems confusing to others but makes sense to me. Pain Ive had for years needs to be replaced. I cant even escape in the few hours of sleep I get without the pain or the horrific nightmares. I dont know what to do? Fighting the huge urge to hurt myself!!

....not sure what to say here.... These demons you speak of...are they hallucinations? Or do you believe them to be real? Depending on which one, you may either need meds or an exorcist. Believe me I'm not making light of your situation, I just don't know what you're dealing with here. I wish I could help, I'm just not sure how.

[usinf]

Originally Posted by Alone & confused

....not sure what to say here.... These demons you speak of...are they hallucinations? Or do you believe them to be real? Depending on which one, you may either need meds or an exorcist. Believe me I'm not making light of your situation, I just don't know what you're dealing with here. I wish I could help, I'm just not sure how.

Fair statement. I dont know if they are real or hallucinations. They seem very real and come with real feelings which I dont think fits the definition of a hallucination. I know that Pastors dont want to touch it along with Psychitrist and Therapist. The numerous psyic meds I have tried has never made them go away. It could be the care I recieve is not the right perscription. That is why I am here. Nothing fits a model or your standatds rules for any of this. I just know Im at a crossroads with so no clear dirwction from either medical, spirtual, or ?????. I dont know which Master wants to be served. I hope that all makes sense to someone out there in the universe.

[TripleABoredom]

Believe the demons will leave and It will be so, for those power comes from will and will comes from your mind, focus and it will be done, or embrace the darkness the choice is yours, you are in control.

I choose to embrace darkness and make it one with me but many choose the light and come out on top, the point is your not going to find hope looking down, be proactive and seek out the answer within thyself.

[Ceara1010]

Originally Posted by usinf

Not sure which forum since no one really wants to diagnose or deal with my issues. It might be complicated. ALL of my life I have dealt with demons. Later on in morphed into depression and several attempts at suicide....That brings me to the point where I am at posting for help as a last ditch effort....

Hi usinf, welcome to the community. I'm pretty new here, myself.

Do you have a therapist? Posting here is a great start, but I think you could benefit from professional therapy, too.

Originally Posted by usinf

Now I want to literally rip my face off, stab myself, or some other form of hurting myself to get a brake from the pain Im in. Replacing pain with pain seems confusing to others but makes sense to me. Pain Ive had for years needs to be replaced. I cant even escape in the few hours of sleep I get without the pain or the horrific nightmares. I dont know what to do? Fighting the huge urge to hurt myself!!

It's actually pretty common for people to want to alleviate psychological or physical pain by inflicting pain themselves. I think for some, it's a distraction, and also it can be a way to feel in control.

There's a forum further down from this one specifically for people dealing with issues related to self-injury. I haven't ever participated there as this isn't one of my issues, but I'm sure you will find others there who can relate to how you feel.

There's also a forum down even further for people dealing with chronic physical pain.

Hang in there. You will find a lot of good information and support here.

--Ceara1010