[fosterthehuman]

i've been hitting myself, like on my head with my hands. i know it's not normal.

i used to do it when i was younger a few times and in high school, i tried to scratch up my wrists a couple of times.

my mom would spank me up until my sophomore year of hs and she slapped me a couple of times when she didn't like something i said and i feel like that caused me a lot of self doubt and lack of confidence. i really don't want to be around my mom anymore, we talked about it and she said sorry but she was putting her hands on me up until i was in college. and we got into psychical fights cause of it a few times. i feel really guilty though cause i fought her.

right now, i'm in an abusive relationship and my bf hits me. recently, i started to notice that i've been hurting myself again like i did when i was younger. but this time, it's more agressive. my bf has noticed, and has told me to stop cause he doesn't want me to hurt myself and that it scares him. and i said, but it doesn't matter. i feel crazy, my bf has even called me crazy abd pyscho many times, but later says he didn't mean it.

idk what to do, i feel extremely down and empty.

[Skeezyks]

Hello fosterthehuman: I'm sorry you experiencing these difficulties. So... your bf hits you... & he's also telling you you're crazy & psycho because you self harm? Well... from what you wrote, I would suggest the first thing you need to do is to get away from this abusive relationship! That may or may not stop your self-harming. But as long as you continue on in this abusive relationship, I don't know how you can hope to get past hurting yourself.

I don't know if you're seeing a therapist. If not, you probably should be. Yes, what happened between you & your mom may play a part in your present self-harm situation too. But that's in the past. And while it would be good to talk about it in therapy, you can't change what's in the past. You can only change what's going on now. And that's what you need to do, in my opinion.

By the way, are you familiar with the National Domestic Violence Hotline? 1 (800) 799-7233 ?

The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 24/7 Confidential Support

This may be a useful site for you to visit. I wish you well...