[malika138]

Last fall I wrote a letter to my t to read in session saying I have a history of SI and currently use it as a coping mechanism. I wrote that I just need a place (i.e. therapy) to check in when I resort to doing it. Her response was that she had suspected but didn't ask and that she was sorry for not asking me.

A few weeks ago I crashed and well, what happened happened.

When my t asked if there was any si along with the depression and I nodded yes, she said it made her sad.

So, if I want to explore the emotions associated with the behaviour, how do I talk about it? I don't want to make her sad. The SI feels good to me but bad to talk about. It is too shameful.

I have a hard time talking in therapy to begin with.

[MobiusPsyche]

I told my T something that made her sad and she said so. But she added that it didn't mean she was incapacitated by grief ; it could be just the T giving feedback about emotions so we understand what's going on for them. Bottom line : your therapist can handle being sad and it's part of their job. They can handle being sad a lot better than you can handle continuing to self injure.

[AmandaBroken]

How are things going for you now? Any updates?

[malika138]

I guess I've had the chance to say a few more things. I'd like more time to talk about it, or more courage, or both. I haven't asked about making her sad, but I've been thinking it is a way to say that this behaviour isn't the best. I get that. But I also can't say the si has stopped.

thanks for checking.

[AmandaBroken]

Originally Posted by malika138

I guess I've had the chance to say a few more things. I'd like more time to talk about it, or more courage, or both. I haven't asked about making her sad, but I've been thinking it is a way to say that this behaviour isn't the best. I get that. But I also can't say the si has stopped.

thanks for checking.

You need to be more concern about yourself and not what the Counselor would think... Just tell her everything, lay it out on the table and go for it. If she is good at what she does then you will be taking a big step down the road to recovery.

Amanda