[byfnvy]

Sometimes I fantasize about using self injury in this way, and sometimes I kind of do it.

For example if I feel bad because I feel someone is being unfair to me, I sometimes fantasize about showing my scars, or cutting in front of them to show what they are doing to me, like using self harm to manipulate things to my advantage by making people feel sorry for me and give me what I want. Sometimes I think that I could easily do this, but it wouldn't be "playing fair" to do so, so I don't.

I also fantasize sometimes about getting mugged or something, and then threatening to cut myself in front of the mugger so that they get freaked out and feel bad for what they did.

[TishaBuv]

Have you ever gotten pity or the upper hand from SI? I haven’t. It doesn’t work.

I have not done this myself, but if someone tried to do that to me, it would not fly. One of my exes, when I was breaking up with him, threatened to kill himself over it. I still went through with it. I don't allow myself to be manipulated by such nonsense, and I would guess that most people are the same way. I would encourage you to see a therapist to explore why you get these urges, and to learn healthier coping mechanisms.