[SlumberKitty]

Hi guys. I had to get my blood drawn today for some lab work for my PCP. Of course my SH scars are mostly on my arms. I took my arm out of my sweatshirt (I had a tee-shirt on underneath) to get the blood drawn and laying my arm forearm up was triggering to me. Just having the technician see the scars. I talked about drinking water because last time I hadn't drank enough water and they had trouble getting the samples they needed. So I hope I sufficiently distracted her. I just feel "bad" that someone had to see my scars. I don't feel embarrassed, I just feel triggered and bad. I don't know how else to explain it. HUGS all, Kit

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Hi guys. I had to get my blood drawn today for some lab work for my PCP. Of course my SH scars are mostly on my arms. I took my arm out of my sweatshirt (I had a tee-shirt on underneath) to get the blood drawn and laying my arm forearm up was triggering to me. Just having the technician see the scars. I talked about drinking water because last time I hadn't drank enough water and they had trouble getting the samples they needed. So I hope I sufficiently distracted her. I just feel "bad" that someone had to see my scars. I don't feel embarrassed, I just feel triggered and bad. I don't know how else to explain it. HUGS all, Kit

I relate. Blood draws are brutal on me. People seeing my old scars from 22 years ago triggers me. I feel overwhelming embarrassment unlike you though. It has to do with my misdiagnosis and how awful I was treated because of it.

I'm looking into body modification to conceal my scars, now that I have money. I am so desperate to get them covered up now. I can barely tolerate being constantly reminded of the past.

Do you know why you feel triggered and bad?

[SlumberKitty]

Thanks @The_little_didgee I think it was more a feeling of being vulnerable that set off the trigger. Usually I am covered up and my scars are concealed. So when someone sees them, or heaven forbid, comments on them, it's like this vulnerable part of me takes over and then I feel bad. I also struggle with feeling like I could somehow contaminate the other person--which I've been told is a delusion of mine--just by them being exposed to my scars.

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Thanks @The_little_didgee I think it was more a feeling of being vulnerable that set off the trigger. Usually I am covered up and my scars are concealed. So when someone sees them, or heaven forbid, comments on them, it's like this vulnerable part of me takes over and then I feel bad. I also struggle with feeling like I could somehow contaminate the other person--which I've been told is a delusion of mine--just by them being exposed to my scars.

Contaminate? Do you mean the scars influence a person's judgement of you when they see them?

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

Contaminate? Do you mean the scars influence a person's judgement of you when they see them?

Not exactly, more like the bad that is inside of me that caused me to SH could get onto/into them. I've been told it's a delusion. IDK.