yes, well, okay I don't know what V meant so I just put W

continuing from the last thread

0

and I actually looked forward to it too

I'm at the stage where I look forward to it blah

that's how much I rely on it

[childofchaos831]

Yay, new thread!

I like part W, shattered sanity! The V was actually the Roman numeral for 5, I'm guessing. So this thread would bed 6, or VI (vi). I like the W better tho!

I SHed yesterday, and needed medical attention yet again. The severity seemed to be getting worse. The docs definitely seem to be getting mire concerned.

I really like the W!

Roman numerals - 1=I, 5=V, 10=X, M=1000 (I don't know the ones for 50, 100, 500)
You generally start with the highest and add on, so I, II, III = 1, 2, 3. V=5 and 6 would be VI (5+1) (starting with the highest). 4 is a bit of a special case - it was originally written as IIII, but because they don't like to repeat the same number more than 4 times, nowadays they generally write it as IV (so first a 1 and then a 5, meaning 1 less than 5).

I'm 13 months, 5 days. I've had almost nightly (and sometimes daily) urges lately. The thing stopping me is that my preferred method requires me to sit at my desk for at least long enough to light a candle and heat something, and I'm generally too scared to do that when I have urges at night. I'm not generally too scared to take a knife from my drawer but cutting in bed without getting blood on the sheets is difficult (and bloody sheets would mean my parents knew what had happened).

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

Yay, new thread!

I like part W, shattered sanity! The V was actually the Roman numeral for 5, I'm guessing. So this thread would bed 6, or VI (vi). I like the W better tho!

I SHed yesterday, and needed medical attention yet again. The severity seemed to be getting worse. The docs definitely seem to be getting mire concerned.

I like this thread too

even more because i've been waiting for ages to continue a thread.. a check- in, or something like that

it's like 1 thing off my bucket list- I have continued an important thread on psychcentral forums.

(yes, that is written down)

Originally Posted by Breadfish

I really like the W!

Roman numerals - 1=I, 5=V, 10=X, M=1000 (I don't know the ones for 50, 100, 500)
You generally start with the highest and add on, so I, II, III = 1, 2, 3. V=5 and 6 would be VI (5+1) (starting with the highest). 4 is a bit of a special case - it was originally written as IIII, but because they don't like to repeat the same number more than 4 times, nowadays they generally write it as IV (so first a 1 and then a 5, meaning 1 less than 5).

I'm 13 months, 5 days. I've had almost nightly (and sometimes daily) urges lately. The thing stopping me is that my preferred method requires me to sit at my desk for at least long enough to light a candle and heat something, and I'm generally too scared to do that when I have urges at night. I'm not generally too scared to take a knife from my drawer but cutting in bed without getting blood on the sheets is difficult (and bloody sheets would mean my parents knew what had happened).

thanks bredfish

math... not my strong point

what was 1 +1 again

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

I like this thread too

even more because i've been waiting for ages to continue a thread.. a check- in, or something like that

it's like 1 thing off my bucket list- I have continued an important thread on psychcentral forums.

(yes, that is written down)

I know, it's a cool feeling, right?

And I think you just started a new SI-days-thread tradition: the Letter counting instead of the Roman Numeral counting!

Originally Posted by Breadfish

I know, it's a cool feeling, right?

And I think you just started a new SI-days-thread tradition: the Letter counting instead of the Roman Numeral counting!

hahhaa!

well their are 26 letters, it will keep us going for a good while

and of course, we could then use letters from other countries (greek for example)

imagine the omega thread. lol

0

punnished myself for having a pannic attack this morning

[random_emotion]

13 days.....

[4428247]

Okay, so only 5 days by the end of today, but that is really great right now. When I sh, I only need to see blood so I make a lot of shallow cuts. I had been doing this every few hours every day up until 5 days ago and I got myself to stop after scaring the s.t out of myself because I thought I got one of those tendons or veins in my foot. I'm doing amazingly well considering I got two college rejection letters in that time span

[whisperingskye]

I’m a few hours short of 30 days...not 100% convinced I’ll make it though.

[Bill3]

Hang in there!!!!!

[may24]

303 days today! (10 months)
(I love the "part W" thing!)

I had a dream - more like a nightmare - and my dream actually ended with the thought/decision "And now I'm going to self injure." I had decided to in my dream because of what happened in the dream.

So I woke about 10 minutes ago wanting to self injure really badly. Still want to. Parts of the dream were basically emotional abuse and PTSD-ridiculing through my mother and sister, and that is something that can happen and does happen in real life. (Well my sister doesn't do it - she's not deliberately insensitive, and not usually accidentally insensitive either - but my mother does, sometimes. Such as when I'm triggered by something she can't connect with what happened, she's real accusing and I have to defend myself. Just because it doesn't make sense to YOU that I'm triggered by asparagus doesn't mean I'm not triggered by it! (Yep, this is actually an example from real life. Asparagus reminds me of Stuff.)

Trying to temper the urge with "pdoc said to quit my new meds (been on them since Friday) if I got worse a lot, and that we might quit them on Wednesday if I got worse a little".
Don't want to quit the meds before I've given them the potential to actually help.

As for what to do now..
- PRN , but I'm very tired already and I took benzo sleep meds this evening. Not sure if I want to add another benzo.
- Lock bedroom door (physical barrier between me and mother, and also sister). Sounds like a real good idea only I don't feel like getting in a fight with my mother over it in the morning.
- Play the piano for a while to calm down. I think I'm too tired and woozy for that though.
- Call the clinic and talk to a nurse. Might help I think. Only drawside is that my call-or-come-as-needed contract with them ended om the 23rd (if I remember correctly) and my pdoc gave me a new one but that starts on the 26th.
Or maybe I'm not remembering correctly and current ends on the 26th also. Also, they aren't really difficult about it in my opinion - they know me, I have only made use of the contract less than 5 times myself (mother also called a couple of times when she was worried. For example when she suspected I was manic.).
- Call a helpline. Might help.
- Write out the dream in more detail so I can if I want discuss it with pdoc or T.
- Work on the story I'm writing. Main character is recovering from PTSD and I could write he has a nightmare. Then I'll either have him calm and reassure himself, or I'll have his housemate comfort/help him. It would make me feel reassured, comforted, safe, because he (my character) is.
- Try to sleep.

Think I'm going to lock the door and write about the dream. Then maybe call the clinic or helpline or take a PRN.

[whisperingskye]

Hope things get easier breadfish.

I made it to a month for the first time in about 2 years... its a christmas miracle....

[Bill3]

Congratulations whisperingskye!

it's been 3 days

4 days now

[childofchaos831]

5 days... Seems the only reason is because family in town and a trip to the ER would be difficult if it was bad enough to need it. Bit also, my pdoc put me back on naltrexone which helped in the past with self harm urges and that could be helping also.

Originally Posted by Breadfish

- Work on the story I'm writing. Main character is recovering from PTSD and I could write he has a nightmare. Then I'll either have him calm and reassure himself, or I'll have his housemate comfort/help him. It would make me feel reassured, comforted, safe, because he (my character) is.

Just wanted to say I write stories like this too, and if it's not too presumptuous, I also find it very helpful to imagine the help I need. Hope you are feeling a bit better today . Best wishes.









I think it's around two weeks for me.

[whisperingskye]

I am stressed, and have very strong urges. Hoping to stay strong...

[Bill3]

Hang in there whisperingskye!!

[whisperingskye]

35 days, somehow

That's great!!

[Bill3]

Congratulations whisperingskye!