[Rio_]

On March 19th it'll be 15 months since I last pulled my hair out, but for some reason - I can't figure out why - I've been finding it hard to keep my hands away from my head recently...had to resort to wearing a hat when I was studying in my room a couple of days ago. I was really hoping I could have beaten it by now, but this is exactly the way I've blown it all the other times I've tried to quit and failed...is it actually possible to recover completely from something like this?

[Lenny]

Of course and it seems you are well on your way...

What has been happening in your life recently that may contribute to this recurring pattern of behavior. We, as humans, love the familiar and when stressed often find a way back there..

Seek the source...

We are here..

Lenny

[splitimage]

It's been a few years since I've self harmed by cutting - but I still get the urge to. Quite frequently infact. But what I've learned is that I don't have to act on the urge. It's liek Lenny said - it's easy to go back to old familiar patterns, especially when we're under stress. What I find helps me is to remember how hard it was to stop cutting and how much I don't want to go back to those days, but sometimes for me it is a daily struggle. I treat it like I treat drinking - they're both something I'm not going to do today, just for today.

Good luck to you.

Splitimage

[Christina86]

Woohoo! Almost 15 months!!!!

Sometimes its harder than other times... it gets easier, and sometimes it doesnt. Usually you have to get down to exactly the reason why you started SIng... but that takes an awful lot of work.

You're doing a good job, keep at it!

[Rio_]

Thanks, Lenny. I just realised, actually, this is probably because of exams again - they're two months away, and this is when I normally start revising. And it's when I'm studying that I find it hardest to keep my hands away from my head.

I guess if this is the reason, though, at least I know that I've made it through a few sets of exams without it, so maybe I'll be able to manage this one too. *crosses fingers*

[Rio_]

Thanks, splitimage. Sorry you still feel the urge to cut so often, but that's a good point about not having to act on it. I don't want to go back to pulling my hair either - it's embarrassing, it annoys my parents and it hurts my arms (keeping them raised up to my head for long periods).

[Lenny]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Rio_ said:
I just realised, actually, this is probably because of exams again - s*

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Good for you....do well on those exams,,I know it can be stressfull...

How about getting something new to try...get a set of those stress balls,,,those soft yet firm, yet spongy, yet resistent little balls that you relieve tension with...actually is very good for your hands too...specially if you use a keyboard consistently...

Can't hurt to try...

Lenny

[Rio_]

Thanks, Christina! That makes sense. I still don't really know why I started...I'm not even that sure when I started; I used to think it was 14, but now I'm starting to think it may have been 13 or even 12.

It doesn't help that my hair is really making my neck itch at the moment (it did this the last time I washed it as well...I haven't changed shampoo or anything, it's weird )...it's times like this I wonder if I should just cut it off so I don't have to bother with it any more. Don't suit short hair, though, I've tried it before.

[Rio_]

Thanks! It is quite stressful, especially since I'm having trouble with Applied Mechanics, the lecturer for that course is going away on holiday and won't be available until the end of April, plus I have two projects and an assignment to work on on top of starting revision.

A stress ball could well work...I wouldn't be able to take it into tutorials with me because I'd be worried in case people asked about it ...but it'd be good to have in halls! No idea where to find one, though.

[BalishBun]

Well, stress will always pop up, so its hard to break old habbits when things get tough

[Rio_]

Thanks, BalishBun. That's true.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((( Rio ))))))))))))))

[Rio_]

((((((Fuzzybear)))))) Thanks.

[Callista]

'course it does... Ever go to BUS? there's people there that are 5 years from their last time. I hardly ever need it anymore myself.

[sunrise]

Rio, it went away for me. I cut for a number of years as a teen and never told anyone. No one ever guessed, I kept it hidden. It helped me cope back then. Then I outgrew this behavior and instead reacted to stress and pain in my life differently. I have not cut for over 20 years. I handle my problems and stress in other ways now, perhaps not very functionally, but at least not physically self harmful.

15 months is great! Keep going. If it helps to wear a hat, then go for it.

[Rio_]

Thanks, Callista, that's great you hardly need it any more! What's BUS?

[Rio_]

Thanks, sunrise. Wow, 20 years is amazing!

Thanks! Luckily, so far it's only been a problem at home or when I'm by myself, so I can wear a hat (not that I have been, always...I've got really close to doing it again these past couple of days ), but I'm not sure what I'll do if it starts getting harder to avoid when I'm around people...guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. None of my friends at uni know about it.

[carrie_]

congratulations-you should be so proud
i used to cut & havent done so in a good few weeks
im hoping to keep it up :]

[splitimage]

BUS is Bodies Under Siege. It's a rather large website, kinda like PC, but dedicated to self - injury. I'm one of the administrators on the site. You can get to it via http://buslist.org

i've been si free for close to three years with only one slip.

Splitimage