My pdoc asked me if I thought it would be a good idea to go into the hospital for a few days in order to just behaviorally break the cycle of my cutting. The reason for this is because I literally feel as though I absolutely cannot stop cutting unless the means to cut are not present.

Right now I cannot go into the hospital because I have 7 days left to my internship and I need to finish up all of them in order to graduate. I also have four weeks of school left and I have to complete two more projects within that time.

Pdoc said that right after school ends (April 17th) we will re-evaluate the situation in order to determine if the cutting has increased, decreased, or remained the same. At this point I will decide if I think hospitalization would be beneficial.

I'm going to talk to my T about this when I see him on Saturday. He has been on vacation, so I only mentioned it to him briefly on the phone.

I really have no idea what to do. There is part of me that does want to go in and part of me that doesn't. I don't know. The cutting has become bigger than me. Bigger than all the consequences. Bigger than everything.

[lenjan]

I've found hospitalization useless for cutting, but helpful for the underlying issues. You might want to identify those and work on them and see if the cutting doesn't come around.

Yes, well the underlying issues are what I'm working on in therapy, but that doesn't even come close to an immediate fix for even reducing the behavior, let alone stopping it. I feel like the only way I can do that is if I am in a place where it is nearly impossible for me to hurt myself. But will that actually help to break the cycle? Or will I just come out and resume? I don't know....

I had to do this about a year ago. I was cutting and burning every single day. I found that being hospitalized did help break the cycle so to speak. I am sorry you're struggling so much.

I still am not back to cutting and burning every day, just every once in awhile. It's a hard thing.

[Fuzzybear]

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[lenjan]

So get all the sharps out of the house and leave when you feel the urge. Going for a brief walk can calm things down too.

All I can do is offer what's worked for me, sorry if it's not good enough for you.

I have also found hospitalization totally useless for cutting. In fact, I have cut in the hospital.

In my hospital experiences, nothing has been done to help with the cutting, except to ISOLATE me from being able to do it. That does not really address the problem...just mostly prevents you from doing it alot.

The beauty of the hospital is that it is a place that you do not have to deal with real world stuff and where they can adjust medications quickly. Most meds don't help with the cutting and the ones that do are questionable.

I actually regress in the hospital and then it is a smack in the face when I have to get back into the real world...

Maybe you can work on the issues more directly with your T...Maybe your cutting is out of control now because your T is away?

[bchlyn]

that's how i broke the cycle... the last time it got too intense... i have an agreement with my t that i will try and call him first...but if i don't i will call him after... i hate that... i found that going out and keeping busy especially when i am triggered really helps... i have been really struggling with the urges... and that's kind of how i am handling them right now...lyn

[insecurity]

I had an agreement with T that I would contact him before I cut. I always cut at night when everyone was in bed, and always felt too guilty to have to contact him at night. It was a big deterrent for me. T put alot of trust in me and I didn't want to let him down in our agreement. Sometimes the torment between needing to cut and having to contact T first drove me crazy (no pun intended) but in the end it did help me avoid the behavior. Being held accountable can really help!

Take care and best wishes!

insecurity

[Christina86]

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[Kiya]

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