[itsjustme111]

Nobody knows my silent friend
The one who covers my eyes so I cannot see
And covers your eyes, your heart
So you cannot see her influence

Nobody knows my silent friend
Yet she is always beside me
Within me
(She is me)

I cry her tears
Exercise her demons
Entertain her foolish notions
...but

You know nothing of this

Nobody knows my silent friend
Who pushes everyone else away
Wants me all to herself
Her stubborn resolve weakens me

Hush-did you hear that?
She just told me I am fine,
I am weak...
I deserve this
(This slow, silent death)

Justy; sorry I can't sleep. Its 4:00 am here and I have to get up at 6:00 to get my kids ready for school. I have to take my daughter to the doctors tomorrow and I am dreading it. We have the same family doctor and he is not going to let me go without talking to him. Maybe this is the anxiety I am feeling. Maybe this is why I can't sleep. Sucky is all I can say.

[Zenobia]

Your poem made me think of the parts of me that I relied on to keep me safe. She protected me so well so I wouldn't get hurt again. But she also made me stuck in the same place without the ability to create a life that is rich and diversified. No friends because friends can hurt you, no real love because love can hurt you. How can we take our silent friends and love them but teach them that to be that protective is damaging in itself and that we love them but need them to give us our freedom?
Carrie

[vulnerome]

Wise words Zenobia *nods*

Always get the shakes at the doctors - makes for interesting blood pressure readings LOL

Hope your daughter gets better soon & that you get better rest tomorrow night.

Irene

XXX

Hope your daughter gets better soon.

[kax25]

itsjustme111. i am sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. i hope you feel better. sorry i dont have words for you but i just wanted you to know i care.
max

[itsjustme111]

Zenobia, very nicely written. Makes all too much sense. I found them to be very powerful words.

My daughter is okay. She has to go to another specialist again. But I don't care how many doctors we need to see, they have to get her well, totally. This has been an on-going problem, its time to take a different direction. She has constant throat infections, her tonsils so swollen. Makes it hard for her to eat and get so sore. I insist they remove them. My family doc agrees so I am glad we have him on the same page.

kax; Its okay to not always have many words. Its the fact that you care and its much appreciated. I do know this, I care for all of you too. Thanks

Justy

[vulnerome]

Ah - reminds me a lot of a friend in primary school. Heard all about sore throats, swollen tonsils etc but no matter how sympathetic I was I could never understand. She grew oout of it at about 8. Whenever my throat hurts now I think of her & since your post, your little girl.

Hope it all works out.

XXXX