[breakdown156]

I actually LIKE pain. It's something that I can understand. I do it to hush the demons.

I cut to focus when my
brain is racing.
I cut to make physical
what I feel inside.
I cut to see blood
because I like it.
I don't like to cut,
but I can't give it up.

I'm a freakin' masochist, and I hate it. I get pleasure from pain. I've tried the rubber band thing, but all that did was bruise and swell up my wrist, without nearly as much satisfaction.
...I really need help...

[Christina86]

(((((((((((breakdown)))))))))))))

No, it is not sick. Depends on the reason you do it, some people SI because it helps you *not* feel pain, and sometimes people do it to feel pain because it blocks out the other stuff in our head.

Please be safe. We care. Do you have anyone to help you at all?

[breakdown156]

i guess that I do it for both of those reasons... It helps me forget for a moment everything that hurts inside, as corny as that sounds.

and not really... I have a counselor, but i see him once every 2 weeks because everything else is booked up. and if i said anything to my friends, i would probably lose a few...