I just dont care anymore

I feel so unloved. so unwanted.

guess its just in my nature to be hated.
who cares anymore? he is looking at other women not me. I guess I just dont matter. I guess He just dont love me like he used to.

I guess I am a failure....and as such should start acting like one again.

((((((((((((((((((((Cthomas))))))))))))))))))) You are no failure. I am sorry you are having difficulties. Know you are wanted here. You matter very much.

BB

(((((((((((((((((colleen!!!))))))))))))))))))))))))
right here with you!!!
Kiya

*hugs* I'm sorry you feel that way, but isn't him looking at other women his problem, his fault? Not yours?

And I don't think he hates you, why would he?

Thanks.....i feel like crap. so badly.

I just dont know why i am here. Sometimes, on days like today i just dont know.

Tell me why you think im NOT worthless.

Because I feel like a trainwreck.

because i know WHO you are - even when you don't.

((((((((((((((colleen))))))))))))

(((((((((Colleen)))))))))

You are NOT unwanted. Please don't think that. I'm not sure what is going on in your life atm, but if you have time to send me an email or something... I can do my best to be here for you. I know i haven't been around much, but there is ALWAYS some time in my day for you, and i hate to see you hurting like this.


me

Your not a failure... talk to him

babyg xXx

Thanks kiya, jac, babyg. Bipolar b.

I am actually feeling a tad better today. went to see my doctor last night. couldnt take it anymore. i was a trainwreck and still am. but getting better.

She put me on 100mgs of seroquel to stabilize the moods a bit. its working i think. i slept like a baby - which is something i havent done in weeks. although i feel like a zombie today. i will take zombie over trainwreck any day.

at least my moods are stable...i feel.....not to much right now....lol

thanks to you all - I will post an update after my 2nd dose.

thanks my friends...
colleen
ps. you guys really are my friends

I feel the same exact way you do right now.

Im sorry you are going thru this too. i guess this could have been in the relationships forum too.

I dont ever see him changing to be the man i need.

I just dont. and I am trying my best to hold it together.

I am working so hard and trying to change ME and what he sees in me. everybody around me says i look hot thin and pretty. my husband says you look fine while watching CSI.

I guess i really DONT matter anymore.

=( you matter to me!

At least i matter huh?

Thanks bud...you always pull through for me.

love ya,
c

i think part of the problem may lie in the fact that you're changing who YOU are - no one should have to change who they are in order to accommodate to someone else. The same thing can be said about him - "I don't see him changing to be the man i need." he's his own person too, and just as you shouldn't change who YOU are, one can't expect others to live their lives so they can fulfill their own needs or desires.

First and foremost, everyone is their own person. They have their own needs and desires, and if two people happen to meet and can live harmoniously together, then thats great. But i think the biggest problem with most people's relationships, is expecting their significant other to change, or trying to change themselves in order to please their partner.

What type of person do YOU want to be? How do you feel about YOURSELF?

You say others say you're "hot and thin"... does that make you feel better? Are you looking for other people's approval and is that why you feel unsatisfied with your husbands response?

The question you need to ask yourself is, how do YOU feel about yourself? Does what another person think of you dictate how you feel about yourself? Does the need of social approval (and approval from your husband) interfere with who you are intrinsically as a person?

I'm not trying to make you feel worse about the situation, but seriously think about how you'd answer these questions.

While i've been off in hiding these past couple of months i've been doing a lot of reading (in my not so spare time), and i've been asking myself these similar things.

Thanks jac, will think about those issues.

you always make me see the light of things. I will re-read your post later.

thanks for all your help - will send you an email later.

Colleen