[x_BabyG_x]

How do u resist the urge to cut when you feel rejected all the time?

As a result of who I am, the littlest things that shouldnt matter and make a difference make me feel rejected. People have to be really careful around me, in fact, the urge is so strong, even just someone turning away from me gets to me sometimes.

Its getting worse, and it makes me want to hurt myself so badly, I want to get rid of it but I cant.

9 n a half weeks already, how am I holding on, when its myself that is driving me crazy??

babyg xXx

[bchlyn]

i think rejection or the implication of rejection is something most of us here struggle with... i am sorry things are hard for you right now... but 9 1/2 weeks is something to be proud of... take gentle care lyn

[x_BabyG_x]

yeah. I think I broke that record but Im not sure...

[Abby]

i wish i could answer you babyg....really wish i could. I guess there is no 'way', maybe it is just a matter of holding on as best we can and hoping for the best? (((hugs)))

[x_BabyG_x]

I cant hold on, Ive been really good for the past 2 month or so, thats why i havent been posting on here as much.... work n no time to do anything, now its just getting me tired and irritable and my moods are up and down all the time. I have a feeling Im going to have a really bad and struggling week

Im sorry Im like this now, I wont be like this for long I promise, I know Im not setting people a positive example but Im really feeling crap and alone

babyg

[Abby]

don't be sorry, we offer support and take support when we need it on this forum....although i have to say due to my word loss my support is mostly silent which is probably not the best support going....

babyg it sounds like you need a well earned rest, if you've had no time to yourself you will feel a build up of tension and that will increase the urge. I recommend a nice warm bath and a cup of tea (the best of british ). You're doing really well, don't put pressure on just try and get through this evening, for tomorrow you never know what may happen....i'm rooting for you here! ((hugs)))

[x_BabyG_x]

Thanks abby. Im up for work at 6am everyday of the week, apart from wednesday (but thats a day off for my therapy - hardly a 'rest'). and I know theres no point in goin bed coz I just will not sleep! Im a pain in the arse like that lol. Im just going to chill for this evening,see what comes

babyg xXx

[Abby]

ouch 6 am starts where do you work!? i understand insomnia....there is no point going to bed if you will just be lying there i agree. Take care of yourself because you deserve it!

[x_BabyG_x]

I only work around the corner, which is a good thing I dont have to get up earlier to travel! Not looking forward to it, but I need the money so.

I broke my record tonight, it was a bit accidental, and I think its what triggered me off. I dont know whether to say I 'relapsed', because I didnt actually mean to do it and its just a scratch really, and have just covered it with a plaster for now.

Am I cheating myself? x