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#1
Jul 08, 2008, 09:31 PM
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I am so discouraged. I have not hurt myself in about 3-4 months. I have gone longer periods before, but this time is different. I now live with my dad and step-mom so I can save money for school and just get back on my feet. I can't hurt myself here, they would both be so irrate. I used to live with them about 10 years ago and my ste-mom was furious with me telling me that I am never to do that while living under her roof and how disrespectful it was to her. Believe me that has stuck with me forever. I love being be myself and am usually ok with it. Tonight it is different. I want to cut, burn, hit whatever I can do to cause physical pain on myself SOOOOOO BAD! I just want the pain to end. I can't stand feeling all these feelings all the time. I just want to leave and go away forever. I was going to pack up my car and leave and not tell anyone, but that will lead to other things. Anyways, thanks for listening.
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  Love Much... Trust Few... Paddle Your Own Canoe!--- Got this off a Dove Chocolate Piece! |
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#2
Jul 08, 2008, 10:42 PM
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(((((((((Jen29)))))))))))
Parents can make us so frustrated some times, I'd imagine it would even be even harder if they actually knew about the self-injury as well. I'm sorry.  Is there anyone else you could live with, or perhaps bursaries or scholarships or loans to take out, so you could move into your own place, or in with someone else? Are you in any sort of therapy, to deal with the stress of living with the parents and the self-injury?
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#3
Jul 09, 2008, 07:15 PM
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I am in therapy....and the stress of living with my family is not really the problem, at least I don't think. I have cut sooooo many times since the age of 15 or so. Just dealing with my PTSD and dissociation is hard. I just want to hurt me and only me.
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Love Much...Trust Few...Paddle Your Own Canoe!--- Got this off a Dove Chocolate Piece! |
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#4
Jul 13, 2008, 12:37 PM
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Hey Jen...
I know what it feels like to want to so bad, and wanting it more knowing you cant... But why dont you make this a good excuse to stop?? babyg xXx
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~ HEY! I run a site on mental health called The Manic Years. I'm looking for some brave souls to share their own personal encounters with mental health. Are you up for sharing your story? Please get in touch on themanicyears@gmail.com. Thank you  ~Follow my blog here; http://themanicyears.com Lola Olivia ~ 7/11/11 ~ my reason for breathing Bipolar Affective Disorder type 2 - (2013) 'Borderline traits' Dissociative episodes |
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#5
Jul 13, 2008, 01:09 PM
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jen how are things today?...lyn
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lyn one could do worse then be a swinger of birches. ~robert frost~
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