Welcome to the self injury room

i s.i.. i am not proud of it, but i do. my best friend knows i do, but for the moment believes i have stopped again. i told her id try to. i did. i did try, but i failed. i used to cut a few years ago, but stopped, but now i have started again. now is worse than before. used to id only barley break skin with a scratch, but now, its a slice that ends in a scar. some of them fade with tan, but the ones that upraise stay there. sometimes i catch myself admiring the scars, liking that they show imperfection. they show the imperfection in my life, while i otherwise try to please everyone else.

Thanx so much for opening this room... Really think its very helpful

I've been SI-ing for nearly 11 years and I am 2 years free of SI-ing everyday and 4 months since my last slip up. But I think about it everyday and it is incredibly hard not to just say screw it and do it. But I know I shouldn't because whenever I've SI-ed I would binge for hours at a time and it ruined a lot of relationships with people I cared about. It came to a head my sophmore year in high school when my family staged an intervention: therapy and a SI support group or an inpatient facility for a year. The therapy was short lived and I wish I was able to continue it.

And here in the last month I was confronted by a coworker/friend about my scars. I had thought I'd been hiding them quite well when it turns out he'd known all along. Ever since finding out he knows the urges have increased tenfold.

I have no clue, I have been cutting for a year now. it helps me cope. but i don't know about people who do it for design or show off. perhaps they are depressed and disguise it in mutilating art? I can't really say. odd for sure!

I cut down a half an inch last night.... I had to use a wrap to hold it close...... Had trouble stopping it....... Any advice...? this has become a daily thing for me..

Hi everyone...new to the forum but sadly not to self harm. Its a symptom of my BPD and one that i find very difficult to overcome. Nice to be able to talk about it amongst others though. I hope everyone has a safer 2012 x

Hi I'm new and have been self injuring for about a year. I can make it about a week or two, but then slip up. My therapist and I have a deal that whenever I slip up she comes up with something creative for me to do or talk about that I would normally shy away from. I came up with that idea cuz I started to really cause some harm to myself. It seems to work because I don't want to have to do something out of my comfort zone.

I think when discussing self injury, you should tread lightly. It is a very serious topic- in my opinion as serious as suicide, therefore, we should encourage discussing reasons not to start, other methods for coping with emotional pain, and ways to stop if you have already started. However, I do think we should keep the SI forum as I- a victim of self mutilation- would like to talk about it. I'm sure others have the same or a similar opinion.

I have gotten worse.. Any tips?

Hi I'm 22 and I'm new here I need help,I don't have parents,my father die when I was 11 and my mother I was 14. They didn't have a house the were renting a place,so when they die I had to leave with my aunt,she treated me bad,I was the 1 who was always doing the house work,they did buy anything for me,didn't support me with anything. When I was 17 I meet my boyfriend he was everything I needed he support me,care . And I went to varsity 1 year,I was pregnant ,my aunt chase me out of the house and I ended up staying at my boyfriend home,but now he treat me as if I'm nothing,like he is always telling me to leave and I can't because I don't have a place to stay. I spend most of my time crying

well, im definatley not a professional, but i do believe that SI is a serious problem and should not be viewed as a joke. I think that for some people, it is a way to cry out for help because they dont know how else to do so. For others, i think SI is more personal, and is to help cope with emotions. I have struggled with this, and still do from time to time, but i have come to realize it does not get rid of the underlying problem.

I have been self injuring since childhood and I am now in my fifties. Have had up to twenty year periods of remission, so it IS possible. Do not injure yourself, read the alternatives here on this site.

Yeah........Im a teenager whos gotten into cutting....and I don't know what to do. My parents found out and its made it more awckard and its fueled negative emotions that cause me to do it.....so I understand anybody who is going through that right now

. I started cutting a long time ago and never told anyone. After my mom passed when I was ten abuse became a way of life along with drinking drugs gambling and having an alcoholic brother who would literally try to kill us , espcially me since I was youngest. I didn't know it til recently for I thought repressed memories was something that happened in movies. I think for me I couldn't deal with the emotional abuse it seemed mire overwhelming than the physical abuse. And over the years when u would get sad or deppressed,rejected and alone. I found myself going back to hiding in my room as a child I didn't have my own room but I hid in the closet or under the bed. I wasn't allowed to eat,and when I got depressed I would get beat more from family members. Years later in recovery I find myself alone and isolated thinking I had it beat. But rejection,death and loneliness within the past few months seemed to have brought me,my mind to when I was a child and I started to cut to relieve the intense emotional pain. I'm not proud of it and ill admit feeling the blade and seeing the blood brought some relief emotionally. But I knew it would lead me to do something I tried to do in2002. For the cutting wasn't enough this time and I started drinking again after 7 years which not only made it as I cut I also felt like I deserved to be punished the way I was when I was 10+11 I came close toa overdosing again like I did in 2002 and nearly died for I hadn't told anyone. Just someone had a feeling I may have done something and called 911 and sent them to my apt. I told them I didn't do anything. Its a long story but I awoke in ICU after the overdose caused 2 seizures. I wasn't too happy with the person who sent ambulance to my apt. The hospital pharmacist had to know what I took along with the alcohol and when I told her what pills and how many she said that amount I should be dead 'someone up there wants you around longer'. Lately I've been asking why? No cutting isn't 'cool' but I do understand the emotional reason behind it though I don't encourage it. That's why a couple weeks ago I fought those feelings and walked to hospital and told them I'm in a crisis I need help. Now I'm taking things 1 minute at a time in hopes I could get back on track again.wow I write a lot,thank you for letting me share this and good luck to all who go through this,David

hi all

likewise i am happy to see a place where i can communicate on a taboo subject...i find it particularly stressful having thoughts that i believe are untellable to anyone

I also live in a small town where when people who have seem my cutting have put up a fuss and I was let go of a job. Cutting for me is a way for me to be able to go out in public and not be so anxious; medicine makes me sleepy and SI allows for instant calm and no sleepiness.
I wish people would not be so judgmental. I don't even like to leave my house and over five years, I have become very lonely.

Hello everyone. I'm fifty years old and have self-injured since I was very young.
Every therp I have been to has known about it. The one I have now has told me I shouldn't be ashamed that this is my coping skill that I've used out of necessity. She has been really helpful. I haven't SI'd since July. I think about six months has always been my limit before I SI again. I'm hoping that I've learned to deal with things better, but don't know until the next crisis comes up. Thanks for this forum. And hello to everyone that shares this issue.

Ive been struggling with SI ....I cant connect to my emotions...so that seems to be the way to express what Im feeling sometimes...I just want the emotional pain to stop

Whenever I go to a forum, I feel like I need to post something. So I'm posting something here. I don't actually hurt myself. I've thought about it often, but I'm too scared, so I just imagine it.

For several years, I struggled with SI, and most of the times, gave in to my addiction. from slaps and hits, to burns and cuts, I always felt the need to punish myself, and every time I did... It felt so good. But that "high" never lasted long, so I began to do it more. Yet the more I did it, the worst I felt, and my "highs" were no longer high. So I began to cut deeper, and burn longer, until I realized that I had a problem, and needed to stop. Two years later, here I am. Nearly every day I still have those thoughts and desires run through my mind, and perhaps for the rest of my life they will, but I've been able to control them. It's really difficult, and honestly some days I don't know how much longer I can last... but I do. I guess what I'm trying to say is, is that if you're struggling with SI, I understand - and maybe I can help. feel free to pm me, because I could also use a friend to talk to.

I need to get my life turned around in so unhappy about my self I do try so hard to stop cutting but it just doesn't work what can I do?

I need help, I have to much on my hands and I try to talk to someone but I end up crying out of it. Please help me

I'm new here. Only a few people in my life know about my self-harm. My family doesn't know and I've never told them. I think they would put me in a mental hospital which I don't want. It's been about 4 years now since I started due to a horrible relationship. I haven't done anything in quite awhile but lately it seems once my bad mood starts, I spiral.

I miss my baby brother who is in his first year of college. I miss my departed grandpa who was more like a best friend. I work my *** off at my job while other's sit around doing nothing. I feel like there's no light at the end of the tunnel. My moods are random and can hit at any moment.

I don't know what to do or how to stop.

Thank you for this room,
it is going to be most helpful.

Just happy that there is a place to share without judgments.

I'm older and have been SI ing since I was a young child. I am in treatment and have been for many years. I am neither ashamed nor " proud" of the things I've done. If anyone happens to comment on scars, I tell them it's none of their business. I neither hide nor flaunt the scars. It is what it is....