[Zenobia]

My boss's husband bullied my manager...this story is too long...don't feel like filling in all the details...let's just say that I got extremely angry at him. A couple of days later I ended up showing great strength and steadfastness. I was in our small shop alone with him and he wanted to know why I was angry and I simply stated that it was inappropropriate to talk about it at that time and that I would be happy to talk about it in my boss's office with him and my boss. He approached me several times over a 15 minutes period trying to get me to talk to him alone. I repeated myself each time calmly. The last time he said that he didn't know what I heard from everyone else but that he was perfectly curteous to my manager. I said "keith I was there." then repeated what I had said earlier about discussing it in the boss's office.

That day after work my boss wanted to talk about this so I ended up spending 50 minutes in the breakroom discussing the problem with my boss and her husband. I stayed calm and direct. I kept bringing the subject back to the issue at hand, not allowing her husband to use guilt or sob stories to turn the issue away from what was wrong. He worked on me for the entire 45 minutes using his lies and his re-interpretations to try to make himself look good and me look bad. Finally I turned to my boss and told her point blank that what needed to happen was she needed to apologize to my manager and find out what my manager needed for things to be better. The husband said he wanted to talk to my manager first and I stated again that My boss needed to talk to her first and find out what she needed because it may be the same with her as it was with me. I would not talk to the husband alone because I needed my boss to hear everything EXACTLY as I said it. During the 45 minutes that he tried to wear me down I caught him in two blatant lies and called him on them.

Anyway, everything is now better for everyone else. My manager wrote a note to the employees saying "Every once in awhile I am surprised at the force I call God and how my life is blessed each day in little ways, but its the big blessing that always take my breath away. Yesterday my breath was taken away!" She had a meeting with the boss and husband and apparently my stand had an affect. In fact they even brought back a person they had just fired.

Unfortunately, things are not so hot for me. The amount of energy expended to remain calm and in control and to behave in a rational way for 50 minutes has not come back. I feel drained and empty. I know I will not be working there for much longer. The husband will have me out of there before too long. I know the power of the marital bed. That is ok though. I was planning to leave anyway. I want to work for Barnes and Noble. I have put an application in. There aren't any openings as of yet but someday there will be. Until then I get to sit back and watch what happens. Part of me looks forward to watching the play unfold. Part of me dreads it. My manager is happy with the out come. Me, I get to look forward to discomfort.

Would I do it again? Yes. There is nothing that can describe the feeling I had when I stood up to a man who thought he could control my life and the lives of the other women in the store. For that day I was no longer a victim.

This is long enough. There is more I could talk about, the inner turmoil I am struggling with. The self injury of the last two days. But it is all too much. I will get on again later today.
Carrie

[jetblackaura]

well done Carrie...that was brave and you've made things better.

I just hope that you get your energy back and that the husband doesn't fire you before you quit.

(((((Carrie)))))

Claire

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((( carrie )))))))))))))))))))

you did a good thing! i hope you regain your resourses soon and that everything remains calm.

kd

[silver_queen]

Zen, it's great to read that you had the strength of mind and the willpower to withstand that man. It's a victory for you. I hope you regain your strength soon and feel better.

~ Silver.

[SweetCrusader]

Carrie,

Be SOOO proud of yourself for the courage you had!! That's truly impressive and awesome.

I'm sorry you are struggling otherwise Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you, sweetie!

*safe hugs*
Angela

[Fuzzybear]

You did a really great thing Carrie, that's awesome! I hope you get your energy back soon ((((((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))))

[Rapunzel]

Good job, Carrie.

You often come here and you write about your struggles. I hope that you understand, I never mean to take away from that, but every time I also see so many strengths in you and the ways that you cope. You are such an inspiration to me. You stood firm, and followed through with what you believed in, and didn't back down. It cost you emotionally. <<<<<sending Carrie more energy>>>>> I also admire that, even though this job has meant so much to you for a long time, you are able to recognize that now it's sapping your energy and not helping you to replenish it, and you are looking at other options.

[Zenobia]

Thank you, everyone for your words of support. Tomorrow I have a session with my T. She will help me reconnect. I just can't seem to get it back together or fall apart enough to get it out of my system. You know what I mean? I feel stuck in the middle of no where. Not ok but not not ok. I am cutting and thinking about the positive future at the same time. Doesn't make sense. I am not afraid of losing my job but terrified of keeping it. Ah well.

On the bright side, the raccoon totem has entered my life which is fascinating considering what influences it brings in context with what is going on in my life right now. If nothing else, it is fun to find out more about the raccoons on the internet and seeing them in my yard.
Carrie