[Miracle1986]

I was just in the bathroom for... quite a few minutes... and my husband came in to check on me.
I guess I was unknowingly holding my arm in a suggestive way, because he said, "let me see your arm"
I let him see and said, "it's clean."

He was like, "Ok... just making sure you didn't do nothin"

I said, "Nope, but it's not because i don't wanna. Believe me, I thought about it."

He left shortly after, and well.... I couldn't resist anymore. I used a comb and literally scrapped a layer of skin off my leg.

It is all red and I don't know why, but it doesn't really hurt... it just burns like hell...

Goddess I am soo stupid, why did I do that? WHY?!?!
I could have resisted the urge like I did before he came in, I just... didn't.

[nowheretorun]

well, next time you can stop yourself before the embarrassment and anxiety? take a chill pill, whatever you like, the best thing i think is to stop and think a little longer about what you are doing to yourself and others around you some.. this isnt to make you feel guilty, only aware.. i hope the wound heal sooner rather than later..

[notz]

Mandy,

Did it hurt your feelings that he didn't trust you even though you had been good to yourself and had not done anything? And you even told him that you really wanted to but you had not.

It would have been nice to get a pat on the back or some sweet words acknowledging the success of your restraint. But he probably wasn't thinking that way. Not necessarily a bad thing, just how he was.

Maybe you can ask for a hug to help validate your feelings. That would be much better than going for the comb.

notz