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#1
Mar 26, 2009, 11:54 PM
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I spend a lot of time at home by myself lately. No one really wants to be around me; I make things uncomfrotable. The other day I passed my chemistry test and I wanted to tell my mom about it, cause I failed the first one. She didn't even care. She went to sleep. Its one thing to feel alone, but when your own mother doesn't even want to talk to you. I really don't know. I went to my room and I cut. It was the first time I've ever done anything like that. I've done it three times in the last two days. I really don't want to do it but yet I keep doing it. I really don't get it. It helps me feel that I'm not just a shadow on the wall and that people can see me cause I'm a person too. I bleed and feel pain just like they do. It makes the numbness go away. I understand why I do it, but why can't I stop?
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#2
Mar 27, 2009, 05:51 PM
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it doesnt sound like you have any other way to cope at the moment - but there are better ways - have a look at the threads at the top of the page - they have a lot of good ideas - things to do to fight the urges - are you seeing a therapist - they can help with strategies to help as well - my T helped me
please be kinder to yourself - hurting yourself is not the answer - there are other ways of dealing with the pain - Im sorry your mum didnt hear you - I would like to say CONGRATULATULATIONS on passing your test '  thats really great - dont let people take your joy from you - learn to hold those good things inside where no-one can touch them - you did well with your test give yourself a pat on the back because you deserve it
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts  its how many times you get back up!   (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture  )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#3
Apr 01, 2009, 02:33 AM
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i know how you feel. invisible. when i first started burning, i thought i was fine. but it got addicting and now i cant stop myself from doing it. first, you gotta see that there is a problem, something im still trying to work out too. just remember, you arent alone. there are so many people out there that can associate with you. you just have to let them in. good luck.
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#4
Apr 03, 2009, 09:48 AM
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I think my mom found my rasers. I was keeping them in the drawer beside my bed. I got back from class this morning upset and noticed that my drawer was open and my blades were gone. She probably just thinks I'm even more of a freak than before. I just broke another disposible and used those. Whats
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