I am hurting myself & I know it

I am only supposed to take 300mg of this pill, because of another med i am on.
I've been taking 1800mg a day every day for over a week.
Nothing bad has happened.

I keep hoping I won't wake up and they'll just think it was an accidental OD.
But I always wake up. I am always fine.

I want to give the rest of these pills to my T, but not to keep me safe. I want to get rid of the pills to hurt myself. It will hurt me, because the withdrawal is hell. (I've done it b4 and know exactly how bad it feels, physically and mentally).

I see both my pdoc & my T tomorrow. I feel so ashamed I don't think i can tell them what i have been doing. And I can't tell them why, cuz i don't know why.

I want to hurt myself is why. But why do I want to hurt myself???????

i don not know why you want to hurt yourself but get to a hospital quickly before you do od you need help right away pm me please and let me know

(((berries))) I'm so sorry you are having a hard time... you should tell this to your T and pdoc, or at least one of them, your T will help you understand why you want to hurt yourself. Please take care of yourself

You really need to tell a professional. Although you may not be experiencing any current side effects you may be causing severe long term damage. I know you want to hurt yourself but one of my close friends took the same approach. They now have to take 3 to 5 extra meds for the rest of their life to fight the consequences of their actions. Please tell the doctor. They will be able to evaluate any damage that has been caused that you may be unaware of.

please let your T and pdoc know what you are doing - as has been said there can be long lasting side effects of taking too much meds - oyu need help and they can help you

I'm sorry darlin', but that ain't good. You really need to get yourself some help really fast, and I hope you do. You need to make an emergency call to him/her, and tell him that you need help now! You are testing the waters too much with your meds, and then to stop taking them would probably wreak havoc on your body. Please let him know what is going on, and do it ASAP!

i emergency contacted my T last night & told him about ODing. I see both him and my pdoc today.

Thank you everybody. What you said was a real wakeup call (no pun intended)

i am scared of seeing them both today, but i am trying to remember they are on my side and want to help me.

Thank you everyone who replied for your support.

How did it go?

Hope to hear from you soon , letting us know your doing a little better after talking things out with the pdoc and T

Hope things go - went? well for you

Good job. It takes a lot of courage to do what you did. I hope all went well.

((((((((((((((((((((berries))))))))))))))))

I gave all my stockpile of pills to my T and he is going to monitor me more closely, I see him twice a week, and make sure I only have enough pills for what i am supposed to take.

I didn't tell my pdoc, because T and I are pretty sure he would put me in the hospital.

So T said not to tell pdoc, and unless I do anything else self-destructive, my T won't tell pdoc.

Going the hospital would be too traumatic because of my germ phobia. Since I wouldn't be able to eat or take their pills, they would force me.

So, I don't have the pills to over medicate with now.

Thank God. I'm glad you were strong enough to hand them over! That took some courage just doing that. I hope you are doing ok.

I am very pleased to know that you and your T worked something out. It is so nice to have people there who understand and who work with us. I think you and your T made a very wise decision.

Good job