[HALLIEBETH87]

AGH!!! My T came to see me at school today. She is having me start on a workbook on a*u*e.....i hate the word sooo much! This is going to suck. I never really considered my childhood abu**ve. Any advice on how to deal with the overwhelming memories that will come up?

[SweetCrusader]

Only work on this in a safe place, Hallibeth. Will you be working on it in T's office, or at home? If at home, please make sure you're not anywhere near thigns you might hurt yourself with. Post to us and we'll help you through it.

Here are some ideas that have worked for me and others here...

-Keep a cold glass of water nearby and drink lots of it.
-Eat some snacks that have a lot of flavor- candy, chocolate, or salty things- whatever. Just stuff that give you something to taste and think about.
-If you start to get lost in memories, look around the room and remind yourself where you are.
-Say in your head over and over again what the date is and how old you are.
-Stand up and look down at the floor and think about how tall you are- this will remind you that you are NOT a helpless child anymore.
-Tell yourself inside that you are safe and you are loved and you are precious
-Listen to some soothing music. I have some I can share with you, if you ask for it.
-Take regular breaks and go for a walk, or set aside the packet where you can't see it and watch something safe on tv. I usually do this with animal planet
-Call or email or pm or post to a safe person

Take what from this list will help you, and disgard the rest.


Angela

[HALLIEBETH87]

thank you soooo very much. i appreciate you answering my post. your ideas seem like they will help me-all of them seem like good suggestions. thanks!!!!!!! i am doind it at home and she is coming back on wednesday to check with me on it. also she told my guidance counselor that i may need to talk to her about some stuff we will be dealing with. i think i am going to work on it mostly at school b/c here i don't really have any weapons and i have Mrs. Coomes (our counselor) to talk to if I need someone to listen.

[Monty_girl]

Candy is good. Mints work really well for me. Sometimes I carry a small little stuffie that fits in my hand. It's soft and no one can see it. I've also taken up crocketing. I'm making a safe blanket that I'm wanting to use while at T. Sitting and crocketing has helped me to keep my hands busy so that I don't try and c*t so much. Keep safe. Monty

[Rapunzel]

Halliebeth,

It sounds like hard work, and I'm sure it will be uncomfortable and scary. Working on it at school sounds like a good idea. Make sure that you have access to someone supportive, and let us know how it goes, or if you need support or anything. Angela's suggestions sound good too.

[ErinBear]

Hi Halliebeth,
Everyone needs to do what is right for them, but when I write about hard things for my counselor, I try *not* to write about them at home if I know it will be upsetting. I try to do it somewhere else, like at a coffee shop, or the library, or even at his office. It works out better for me, and I'm less likely to hurt myself if I should get upset, and sometimes it feels safer somehow. If I'm home alone, I can get stuck in my upset feelings. I don't know if that will make sense. If I think I am going to be writing about something particularly hard, I try to wait to write about it until I am with my counselor, or at his office. This might be a little complicated since you are seeing a therapist at your school, and it might not work out the same for each person, but I've found this helpful for me.

And in my case, it has helped to get rid of any things I might use to hurt myself. That way, I'm not as tempted to do self-injuring things, because those items aren't around. Initially when it was hard to throw things away, I brought them to my counselor's office, and threw them away there. If I am tempted to get new things, I make a point of steering clear....staying as far away as possible....and not even going near whatever it is....again, so I'm not even tempted, not even getting close to the item, or the idea of it...not even going to stores where I might be tempted to buy something I'd use to hurt myself, for instance. If the item is with me or near me, it's going to be a lot easier to start hurting myself. If I get rid of all the items, and keep myself away from items, I'm already a lot safer and a lot less likely to have a slip-up. I find it's even more important than usual to stay away from items when I'm going through stressful or upsetting things.

I know it is hard to think about doing the workbook and talking with the therapist about these things, but it can help in the longrun to be able to talk about important stuff like this. It has helped me and the people I know who have talked about painful events in their pasts.

Take care,
ErinBear

[HALLIEBETH87]

thankx

Halli, I don't have much to add since I've never had to do one of these yet. I guess I have that to look forward too. Yippie freakin skippy. I know you can do this though. Remember the tips angela gave and also remember the baby steps. Oh, and most important, don't forget us. We'll all be here for you every step of the way. Take good care hun.

Ryan

[eliza]

((((HALLIEBETH87))))
I know how difficult it is to work on abuse issues. You are such a special person. You are so helpful on the forum with your care and advice. I wish for you a safe journey as you work on the abuse. Warm thoughts and prayers, eliza

[HALLIEBETH87]

thnakx, but i am not so sure i am very helpful. i try but i am not nearly as helpful as people like angela.

[silver_queen]

Everybody's helpful in their own way so yes, you do help people

[SweetCrusader]

you have sure helped me, hon!

[HALLIEBETH87]

i dont remember ever helping you with something that u didnt already know-u r a psychology student so anything i have suggested surely u have heard before. but thankx n e way

[MacD]

when i'm stressed, i like those squeezy balls that you hold for exercise....they are comforting....and don't forget..after every session...a long warm bubble bath is a good way to love yourself...hang in there....we love ya

[SweetCrusader]

halliebeth you said sweet words to me that touched my heart. this is the most important kind of help