DID.. sucks...

it sucks.. I hate it... it isn't fair.. and I didn't do anything to deserve this.. crappy.. crappy crappy.. way of life.. and the whole world can go to "you know where"..

crappy.. crappy..

worthless.. worthless.. crappy me..

I hate.. everything about DID.. I hate what it has taken from me.. I hate what it has done to me.. I hate.. hate. hate..

YES>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I said the HATE word..

so there!

((((freewill))))

I hear you and I am listening. I know it is hard to live with DID but it was how we survived what was otherwise not survivable. I question it all the time. At times it is hard for me to accept too, but if I take a step back and see what they did for me and where I came from, it is a little easier to breath. Dear you are being so hard on yourself. DID is not fun. Explaining at times why or what is happening is very difficult. Makes me feel like no one will listen or believe me. But know I understand what you are feeling. It was not fair but it was not your fault. Because of our parts, we are survivors. We are working to put our lives back together and it takes time. It took a long time to hurt, it will take a long time to heal. Be kind to you. Know you have a friend that is right there beside you all the way. Just reach out and take my hand and we will walk this path together encouraging one another along the way. You are not alone. I love you my friend always.

cami

(((((((((((((((((((( freewill ))))))))))))))))))



You are allowed to feel as you do. I'm sorry you are hurting so badly.

Much Love & Hugs
sabby

It is so important to say what you think and feel in a safe place and thank goodness we all have this forum with others that understand. </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
a label can not define who we really are!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

thanks

freewill , yes it sucks at times , but remeber all of you and all of us survived and met to become friends
Angie

free - breathe through it.
i switched last night around a bunch of people i barely know. i'm begining to realize i don't really know or have access to all that goes on (like i thought i did).
be safe, free.

yes it sucks, but a T once told me, that it takes a very special person to have DID. she said that most children that went thru what i did wouldnt have survived it, physically and emoptionally. i was one of the few, the lucky, that found a way to handle it. she said it was a rarity. so no matter how down i get on myself i always try to remember that conversation. you ARE special, you ARE lucky cos u are still here today. what doesnt kill us makes us stronger.

it really is an odd thing, DID. yes, it's this powerful thing that allowed us to survive and that is good. and yet it messes up so much stuff later in life. and other ppl just don't get it. think we're crazy. Well, i know i have an alter that is really good at "normal" and most people (if they don't know me well) don't know. But every now and again something 'funny' happens and they just don't know what to make of it. I just try to smile and get out of it. but it throws me for a loop, ya know? i feel like an imposter in my own skin.

Yea, it can suck for sure at times. I have never thought I didn't deserve it though. I always think I deserve the bad and am always surprised when something good happens.

I have finally come to a realization that T was right though, that it saved me (She loves it when I tell her she was right about something lol). It served its purpose when we were children, but it's a hindrance now... although even in my adult life, it keeps me functioning when I would be otherwise unable to.

I grieve at times because I don't remember parts of my life that I wish I did. Sometimes I can't take care of things or situations like I would like because I check out but other times, other parts take care of things much better than I would know how to.

I still often think I'm crazy but I've also realized that people don't really know what is going on. Even when inside my head there is so much noise and I am so far in the back that I would have to get a pole to reach my eyeballs, no one on the outside seems to think anything is out of the ordinary.

I'm "eccentric," "young at heart," "forgetful," etc. But we are also strong people and when most people can't stand the heat and get out of the kitchen, we keep cooking and often make a fine meal (funny analogy because this part of the brain does not know how to cook lol).

Hang in there, you'll make it.

you said it - all of it. i agree with all of it, even the cooking analogy and reality.

dat nos bes veri niec nos et bes guud tu havz
ef et wosn fer yu altaz ens litl yus miet nos bes hier
dai savs yu uz sood bes graitfol

frum coco