[mf1438]

I just finished reading a book titled “Boundaries” by Cloud and Townsend. It’s a good book. It opened my eyes to all of the missed opportunities my parents had when it came time to raising me like a “normal” child. So what the heck, I ended up with insecure attachments styles, “anxious-preoccupied” and “fearful-avoidant”. I’m not blaming them. I was one of five children and they had their hands full dealing with their own issues. My father was an alcoholic and my mother grew up in a time when the best place for a woman was as a stay at home mom. They were both only children, so I’m sure they were used to getting all the attention, getting spoiled and getting their way. They say the fruit doesn’t fall too far from the tree, so there you have. A life growing up with little or no boundaries and a lot of subterfuge, chaos and fractured love.

Don’t try this experiment at home. For some reason I decided to tackle my demons. Go figure. I’ve been doing “shadow work” and after cycling through a few different therapists, I finally found one who is helping me get my life in order. It hasn’t been easy, but if it was I would feel like it wasn’t really worth having. I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and I really paying attention to the recommendations from the expert. They say I’ve got to have friends, a support system, someone I can trust to go to when I want to vent and ask for advice. This support system is what keeps you from falling back into the wrong self-destructive behaviors.

I’m not ready for friends in real life so I’m looking for a friend online. I’m a loner. I’m used to doing things on my own. I’m strong, self sufficient, I raised myself up by my own bootstraps. I am successful, but in many ways I’m alone. So I’m learning how to make friends at the ripe old age of 63. I lost all of my childhood friends. Most died, some were swallowed up by the same demons that chased me through life, so now I have to start all over again. I gave myself a challenge. Find a friend and be a friend.

I like to write email, a carryover from my old penpal days. I grew up in a time when love letters were the way to share your inner feelings. Letters filled with emotion and caring. I like writing erotica too. I’m not very good at it. I’m not going to win any literary rewards anytime soon, but it’s a fulfilling pass time that has turned into an enjoyable hobby.

I like reading self help books. I like learning about emotions, feeling emotions and managing emotions. I’m spiritual and a Christian too. I’m really a nice guy when you get to know me, that’s what everybody says. I’m looking for a really deep friendship that takes time to develop. I want a few friendships like this, and I know it takes years of nurturing and gaining trust on both ends.

Interested?

==

Dearly beloved
We are gathered here today
2 get through this thing called life
-Prince

[Skeezyks]

Hello mf1438: The Skeezyks sends sincere wishes for great success with your efforts to find the really deep friendship you seek. I wish you well...

[barbella]

I wish you well too. I am practicing putting myself out there in like-minded groups of people and seeing where it takes me. It's daunting at any age but I think there may be more challenges when you are a bit older.

[mf1438]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello mf1438: The Skeezyks sends sincere wishes for great success with your efforts to find the really deep friendship you seek. I wish you well...

Thanks for the well wishes. I wish you the best in all you do.