[Trace14]

Lately my mom and I have discussed talking to a lawyer about what has to be done to protect her assets should become ill and have to go to a rest home. We haven't gone yet, but have others thought about this?

When my dad was decending into dementia... I asked my mom "what have you done to protect assets" she gave me this blank stare and I knew we were done for. I have some legal experience so I immediately did a few things on my own. I deeded the home from her and dad to Mom... got a power of attorney and a health care proxy.

But then I went to a solid lawyer and she handled the prep. It was out of my league. It was expensive but for 5K I saved about 250K of assets. There was a ton of paperwork I had to get ready.

We lucked out and managed to get my dad into a nursing home when the law was a three year look back and then it was changed to five.

I would find a good solid lawyer to do this. One way we found ours was looking at the lawyer publications on this issue and finding lawyers who wrote articles about the process.

[Shazerac]

It's so important to get that done and soon! Get a good family lawyer. I've seen so much loss, and struggle come for those who didn't take any steps to protect assets.

My father in law was a lawyer and had an iron clad will. Even then it took almost a year to get through probate court when he died.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Shazerac

It's so important to get that done and soon! Get a good family lawyer. I've seen so much loss, and struggle come for those who didn't take any steps to protect assets.

My father in law was a lawyer and had an iron clad will. Even then it took almost a year to get through probate court when he died.

She has a will, but we just don't want the nursing home, if she should go to get what little she has. So we are looking into that. With the price of nursing homes it doesn't take long to run through everything your parents have accumulated.

Originally Posted by Trace14

She has a will, but we just don't want the nursing home, if she should go to get what little she has. So we are looking into that. With the price of nursing homes it doesn't take long to run through everything your parents have accumulated.

I think my mom's will was an entirely separate deal. The only thing was that she had to make a "trust" for the care of my father so it didn't look like she was disowning him. Which looks like fraud to the medicaid people. It might be different for you guys because of just having one person. I think you can do a blind irrevocable trust or some such.

Is it bad that I have never probated my moms will properly? We opened the case and allowed for people to make claims but after the year where no one did... I just never closed the case. The court did... but legally it is still open. Me and my sister were the only beneficiaries so we took out stuff and never closed the case.

I hope that won't get me some day.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton

I think my mom's will was an entirely separate deal. The only thing was that she had to make a "trust" for the care of my father so it didn't look like she was disowning him. Which looks like fraud to the medicaid people. It might be different for you guys because of just having one person. I think you can do a blind irrevocable trust or some such.

Is it bad that I have never probated my moms will properly? We opened the case and allowed for people to make claims but after the year where no one did... I just never closed the case. The court did... but legally it is still open. Me and my sister were the only beneficiaries so we took out stuff and never closed the case.

I hope that won't get me some day.

Yes, I think I would check into that before that gets way out of hand. I totally understand, my Dad's estate account is still open and he's been gone 4 years. I need to do that.

Originally Posted by Trace14

Yes, I think I would check into that before that gets way out of hand. I totally understand, my Dad's estate account is still open and he's been gone 4 years. I need to do that.

I guess I don't see the point. I did try to do it, but I got a letter back (that was insanely rude) telling me I messed up and not telling me what I messed up.

So I don't see necessarily why I need the probate court to sign off on me and my sisters assets. I suspect that is only really necessary when you have a lot of people fighting for assets. OR corporations looking for money and we have no one file anything so..

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton

I guess I don't see the point. I did try to do it, but I got a letter back (that was insanely rude) telling me I messed up and not telling me what I messed up.

So I don't see necessarily why I need the probate court to sign off on me and my sisters assets. I suspect that is only really necessary when you have a lot of people fighting for assets. OR corporations looking for money and we have no one file anything so..

Maybe your State laws are different, as long as you are okay with it

[Gus1234U]

i've been thru this with 2 of my cousins, one was when the law was only a yr, and my cousins were in total denial that their mother had alzheimers... so they lost the house to the nursing home rule...

the other was smarter, and got a power of attorney and some help, and got the house put in her name , hopefully her mother will be able to live with her for the 5 yrs to elapse...

i have a durable medical will that forbids nursing home care, only Hospice, so i don't think i will have to worry,,,, but i should still make some allowances for the unforeseen.
thanks for this thread~!

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

i've been thru this with 2 of my cousins, one was when the law was only a yr, and my cousins were in total denial that their mother had alzheimers... so they lost the house to the nursing home rule...

the other was smarter, and got a power of attorney and some help, and got the house put in her name , hopefully her mother will be able to live with her for the 5 yrs to elapse...

i have a durable medical will that forbids nursing home care, only Hospice, so i don't think i will have to worry,,,, but i should still make some allowances for the unforeseen.
thanks for this thread~!

It's a lot to think about. I wonder about putting her assets in a trust if that would protect them. My concern is if I should have her assets in my name and I have a wreck or something and get sued could she lose her home. I guess I just need to talk to an attorney about this. Soon.

[possum220]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Lately my mom and I have discussed talking to a lawyer about what has to be done to protect her assets should become ill and have to go to a rest home. We haven't gone yet, but have others thought about this?

First thing you and your Mum need to do is get her to see a lawyer in order to understand what needs to be done. Then put things in place. Each state maybe different and the laws continue to change. Have a will in place. Have you done yours? Name one or two people who can have powers of attorney for her should she become so unwell that she can no longer look after her own financial affairs. The name executors.....etc. The list is can be quite extensive so for this reason you need a lawyer.

It is important for her wishes to made made known now that she is still alive and sane. It's nothing that nobody likes to think about but is so helpful when the time does come that you know what needs to happen and the wheels have already been set in motion not while you are in the throws of grief.... etc.

We always expected that my father would live the longest. Mum was always unwell. Dad though had cancer and passed away in 6 months. He didn't go into a nursing home but our Mother was in one for 4 years before passing away.

Are you sure you mum is going to go into a nursing home? Where I live nursing homes can be state funded or privately funded with the nursing home retaining a bond (very large) but at the end of it they will/should refund the balance. Please get your lawyer to take due diligence and look at the nursing home paperwork. Often the devil is buried in the detail.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by possum220

First thing you and your Mum need to do is get her to see a lawyer in order to understand what needs to be done. Then put things in place. Each state maybe different and the laws continue to change. Have a will in place. Have you done yours? Name one or two people who can have powers of attorney for her should she become so unwell that she can no longer look after her own financial affairs. The name executors.....etc. The list is can be quite extensive so for this reason you need a lawyer.

It is important for her wishes to made made known now that she is still alive and sane. It's nothing that nobody likes to think about but is so helpful when the time does come that you know what needs to happen and the wheels have already been set in motion not while you are in the throws of grief.... etc.

We always expected that my father would live the longest. Mum was always unwell. Dad though had cancer and passed away in 6 months. He didn't go into a nursing home but our Mother was in one for 4 years before passing away.

Are you sure you mum is going to go into a nursing home? Where I live nursing homes can be state funded or privately funded with the nursing home retaining a bond (very large) but at the end of it they will/should refund the balance. Please get your lawyer to take due diligence and look at the nursing home paperwork. Often the devil is buried in the detail.

We are in the USA NC. I will get working on that. No not sure she will ever go to a nursing home, she's quiet full of herself at 81. But just in case, we need to look into it. I think after 90-days, it's private pay and it wouldn't take long to run through all her assets and that would break her heart. So we want to protect all she has, so if she ever could leave a nursing home she would have a home to come back to.