[winter4me]

I feel as though I have started "living" (at least in my head) more in the past than now and I sense the future shortening. I am 67 and this began a few years ago I think. Just too many intrusive thoughts from too long ago...
I fear driving myself (and inadvertently my adult kids somehow) to self/mom loathing. Appearance too. I am physically healthy but my teeth are not good and I'm looking old in the face for sure...when I was younger I really wasn't appearance conscious, as long as I felt well I was fine. Nothing special but OK.
Now I have moments of wanting to hide from the world as I am so "repulsive". I do not see other people that way. And when I am actually out I don't feel, usually, as if they see me that way. I obsess over nonsense. I need an engrossing project.
It is one reason I decided to retire. The other was that I felt I could no longer keep it together all the time, just tired of the long struggle with problems I couldn't share but endured. Like many others. ....?anyone else. (ps: it isn't an EveryDay thing but it does take me down and away too often)...and regrets even though things actually went better than they "should" have and I truly have a decent life. Tired of the assault of unwanted emotions and thoughts.
Am I more tired than when I was younger? No, but then I was so busy....and I do NOT want to be busy all the time....I want to learn solitude

[Travelinglady]

It's not too late to talk to a counselor about these unresolved issues.

I don't think many of us look too great as we get older--unless we're movie stars who can afford all those surgeries and fancy anti-aging creams, etc.

Please feel free to rant away!

[CANDC]

Hi winter4me. Getting old is the biggest challenge I have faced yet. I just do not know how to cope with it sometimes.

I find when I isolate, I am more self obsessed than when I go the senior center or the gym to do exercise classes. I do not even have to talk to anyone but I am with people. It takes me out of myself and I see that other people are aging like I am. There are many older people that are not as concerned with appearances as they are open to sharing a few moments with someone if I care to talk. If not I just exercise.

[emgreen]

I scare myself sometimes when I try to take a selfie with my phone. The image staring back at me startles me. I don't feel as old as I look.

[winter4me]

dreamed about my mother last night, she was much younger than I am now...

[poshgirl]

Winter4me, how I can relate to what your saying. Thank you for raising the subject. Still thinking I'm younger than actually am, so not happy with creaking knees! Heavier than I want to be, perhaps I should cut down on the chocolate, lol!

I'm also experiencing these "flashbacks", often feeling very uncomfortable with recollections. Now 64, this started when I turned 50. Still very keen to learn, despite being made redundant aged 60 and not found another job. Some women say they become invisible as they get older. It's true to a point, although I do notice the well-preserved men more. Sadly most are with their wives or wearing a wedding ring!

Did wonder if my brain was bringing these memories to the fore, then dumping them in the deeper recesses. Enough of the amateur psychology Unfortunately, some of these thoughts do linger which I find disturbing. Perhaps it's a wish to right the wrong, which of course is now impossible