[Martha2019]

Kids and grandkid don’t live close and too far to travel. So many problems - health, money and just no one.

[Martha2019]

Been up half the night wondering what I have going for me.....not much.

[Martha2019]

If I could find just one person to talk to, but I rarely go out.

[unaluna]

Well, now you have us too.

[IowaFarmGal]

Hello Martha! Welcome to Psych Central! I get scared sometimes too and feel alone even with one brother just down the road. I have a disabled son that lives with me and I worry how he will manage when I'm gone. It's no fun getting old! Hugs!

[Martha2019]

Thank you, unaluna and IowaFarmGal and hugs to both of you! I've been awake since the middle of the night when panic attack set in. Been trying to get some things done, but it is SO hard! All I would really like to do on this gorgeous day is sit, but I have been checking back on this website hoping that someone would reply and help me get motivated to do something.

[IowaFarmGal]

Is it a gorgeous day there? We have snow in April! 3-7 inches they're saying! Are you near the beach? I haven't been to the ocean in a long time. I miss the sound of the waves now that I live up north again.

[Martha2019]

IowaFarmGal:
I do live by the water. I can see the water from my driveway. Sometimes, it is in my driveway and backyard during hurricanes.
But, it is a gorgeous day here today. Unfortunately, I don't really feel like enjoying it.
Isn't it amazing how everything in life comes crashing down on you at once, like a ton of bricks?

[Skeezyks]

I don't think I really have anything useful to add here. But wanted to leave just a brief reply letting you know I read your post... & I wish you well...

[Martha2019]

Thank you, Skeezyks.

[IowaFarmGal]

You live right on the beach? Is the sound soothing for you? I used to like going to the pier and listening to the waves. Quite often it was in the evening and the wind was chilly blowing in. I volunteer at the Senior Center in town. They have card groups, and a quilting group, and a group of ladies that go to the pool together to work out and then share a pot luck breakfast. We used to serve breakfast and lunch but breakfast was cancelled a while back. Is there a Senior Center in your town? It would be a place to meet people.

[Travelinglady]

Hi, Martha, and welcome!

[Martha2019]

Thank you, Travelinglady.

[Martha2019]

IowaFarmGal
I don't live on the beach, but by a tributary (bayou) to the greater gulf - so, no beach, no waves right by where I live. I do live within a mile of the beach. It is lovely, but there are too many tourists, too many casinos (which I don't frequent), too much traffic. This used to be a sleepy little fishing town - quiet, friendly. It isn't any more. Maybe I have lived too long in one place. All of my neighbors are from other parts of the country, and I am the lone person who was born here, went to college here, married here, worked here, had a family here and still live HERE.
I was a senior center director in my working career. It is just not my thing. I mean I enjoyed it when I wasn't a senior. LOL But, bingo and group shopping trips or exercise groups are not high on my priority list.
I think my current depression and anxiety stem from my knee injury (six weeks ago tomorrow) which left me in great pain and on crutches. It would have been ok, but I live by myself and could not just sit and have someone (the nonexistent someone) cook for me or help me with things; so, that has extended my recovery time.
My philosophy throughout my life has been, "Life is a biotch, and then you die." I've enjoyed it, but this getting old without the energy and with injuries and pain is not what I was expecting. LOL Struggle is a part of life. Everyone deals with their own as best they can. I know that I have, but it has been a long road. I was hoping for something easier now that my kids are grown, married and successful, but life just keeps getting harder and harder. I used to laugh a lot. My kids would say that they could recognize me in a crowded store by my laughter. I don't laugh anymore. With all 4 of my siblings and my best friend dying within the last 10 years, life has just gotten......what is the purpose anymore?
Ah well, thank you for letting me write my early morning thoughts. If this doesn't get any response, it is ok. I just feel better writing them down. So, maybe that is the purpose of this forum for me....to just write to the unknown world that I am still in it....even if no one acknowledges me....in the real world or the virtual world.

[IowaFarmGal]

Good Morning! Does it help to get it out? The times are depressing in general, but I hope your day goes well anyway.

[Martha2019]

Thanks, IowaFarmGal!
Yes, it does help to just write my thoughts down. Maybe I will start a new topic that asks for just 'early morning thoughts'. Then everyone can just say what is on their mind at the time.

[IowaFarmGal]

Hello Martha! I hope you had a good day. It's gray and rainy here and will be until Friday. My small pension comes tomorrow and I'll be able to get some gas and replace a few supplies I'm out of. I'm afraid the birds will have to wait for their bird seed until Social Security comes. I've been making them oatmeal/berry/peanut butter balls. The squirrel seems to like them too.

[Martha2019]

IowaFarmGal:
I live in the DEEP South... Daytime temps are in the 80's here. Nighttime temps are in the 70's. It is great for someone who is cold-blooded, but it it too warm for me...and it is only Spring! And, though I have lived here my entire life, the temperatures/humidity have definitely gotten worse. That is what happens when there is too much construction and trees are cut down and replaced with concrete.

I understand about the small pension. I get mine in a few more days.

Have a good day!

[IowaFarmGal]

Good Morning Martha! I'm heading out to the senior center in a bit. It's another rainy day and I hear there is a Levee breach along the Mississippi river. More rain coming too. Some Spring times are like that. It's not us this year, so I'm glad for that. Did your children move north? You said they are far away. I keep up with family on Facebook but rarely see anyone. I have an invitation to a graduation for my cousin's grandson but I don't know if I'll have enough gas to go. I hope things are going better today and you enjoy your day! I'll be busy catching up laundry and doing errands and grocery shopping. I hear the kettle singing, time to wash up for work! Hugs to you! <3

[Seniorj]

Hello young lady, 64 is young to me, ha. I just joined this site today and your post was the first I have read. I note one of your followers told you they had several inches of snow to deal with recently. So there ya go, something to be grateful for. You do not have snow to fight with, as we people of the north have to contend with. Bet you It is not as cold in Ocean Springs as it is up north. Another positive! I do not mean to belittle your situation. When we get down we need to try to find a floating piece of wood, anything, to cling to. Anything to get us out of the darkness. Being grateful helps me. I live in Montreal, Canada. Here we freeze our butts, dig ourselves out of lies of snow all winter. Now we are getting spring flooding. I spent last Saturday filling sand bags for our poor neighbors who might lose their houses to the floods, second time in past three years. Like you my lady, they needed help. To know others care. We all need to know others care. You see, another positive. People are reaching out to you to show they care, do not let that log drift on by. Grab it and be grateful. Show how grateful you are by getting dressed and walk down to the water and yell out loud...thank you all you crazy people who live In your snow covered igloos north of me, thank you water for bring me a log to grab onto, and if you swear, yell out loud, ..... you sadness, I am stronger than you. Sorry for long winded cheer leading, but do hope it adds a little positive to your day. Cheers and hugs. SeniorJ

[Martha2019]

Oh, thank you, seniorj! I know that I have a lot to be grateful for, but, sometimes it is hard to see the forest for the trees that block the view of good things. I am just dealing with a lot at the moment, and it is hard to deal with alone. There just isn’t anyone who has led a life similar to mine. They have spouses still, or children close by, or just family. I don’t. I did have one person who told me, “You are just snakebit”. Everything has come crashing down on me at once, and it is hard to throw off the multitude of weight and gain some footing. It helps to write it down, but I’m am the only one dealing with the onslaught, and it would be nice to have someone take care of me for a bit. It isn’t going to happen, but it would be nice.

[zapatoes]

Originally Posted by Martha2019

If I could find just one person to talk to, but I rarely go out.

Try meetup groups and they can be found online. There are groups for various interests such as knitting, movies, etc, or cards, reading and book of the month group.

[seeker1950]

Hi, Martha. I also am alone, but never lonely. My one daughter lives overseas in Kazakhstan. I tend to isolate myself, not going out unless absolutely necessary. But as I said, I'm never lonely. Probably because I spent 20+ years in an unhappy marriage, only leaving after my daughter left for college. I had longed the whole time to be free, and finally did so. That said, yes, I could be lonely, but I spend my time working on my art. Do you have hobbies? Do you have neighbors who are friendly? After my divorce, at age 47, I did try dating online. I don't recommend that, as it led to a lot of disasters for me, and loss of income. Sorry, too much information here, but there are lots of predators out there for the lonely vulnerable. I'm grateful to still have my health at age 68, can support myself financially, and can maintain a moderately healthy outlook. (Message me if you wish.)

[Hummingbird1950]

Me too

[Hairball]

Hi Martha,
I have no friends or family. I am 62 single and have two cats.

I feel unloved and unfulfilled most days, but I also know I am blessed and thankful for what I do have.

I used to get out some but lately I just can't so in a way I create my own loneliness. Vicious cycle.

You can PM me if you like.