[Passion222]

Ive been in a loveless marriage for almost 20 yrs. have 2great children I love so much and never want to hurt them. Problem is I'm always having affairs and falling quickly for men who lie to me. They say anything to get me in bed. I fall for all the lines. Feel lime the only person in the world and BAM back to my regular humdrum loveless marriage. Tried counseling and therapist has suggested I move on. But I don't. Why??? Fear?? Yet I expect a guy to love me? And I mean I fall QUICK. I just got "dogged" by a man I thought was wonderful after seeing him 2 1/2 yrs. why didn't I see it coming? I set myself up for heartbreak on a regular basis. So many more similar stories but this is the abbreviated version. How can I love myself?? I really want love--period!

[ponder1973]

Originally Posted by Passion222

Ive been in a loveless marriage for almost 20 yrs. have 2great children I love so much and never want to hurt them. Problem is I'm always having affairs and falling quickly for men who lie to me. They say anything to get me in bed. I fall for all the lines. Feel lime the only person in the world and BAM back to my regular humdrum loveless marriage. Tried counseling and therapist has suggested I move on. But I don't. Why??? Fear?? Yet I expect a guy to love me? And I mean I fall QUICK. I just got "dogged" by a man I thought was wonderful after seeing him 2 1/2 yrs. why didn't I see it coming? I set myself up for heartbreak on a regular basis. So many more similar stories but this is the abbreviated version. How can I love myself?? I really want love--period!

Do you love yourself? That's often the first step in someone else loving you.

[Passion222]

No I don't. Struggle with that. Hate everything about myself. Don't like mirrors or pics of me. Therapist trying to build my self esteem and I'm trying. It's worked some but I'm sure needing pride already

[ponder1973]

Originally Posted by Passion222

No I don't. Struggle with that. Hate everything about myself. Don't like mirrors or pics of me. Therapist trying to build my self esteem and I'm trying. It's worked some but I'm sure needing pride already

I have similar issues. I don't love myself and people somehow pick up on that. I swear they think "Well if they don't love themselves they must be damaged somehow, I don't want to deal with that."

[poptart316]

I have similar issues as well and I think I attract guys with similar issues and then they wind up using me/hurting me. I'm currently anti-relationship/dating/sex.. I'm working on myself, doing things for myself and building up self-esteem and wont put up with BS from men anymore.

Passion222.. do you have hobbies? (I recommend hobbies to all!) or maybe you and your husband could do something together? But if it's absolutely not working for you then why not get a divorce? Or be open and honest and talk about your feelings with him.. maybe opt for an open marriage? I've dated a married man once, him and his wife had an open marriage.. it seemed to have worked for them and even enriched their marriage.