What's an addict?

What makes an addict an addict?

I had a regular porn & mast habit for years. I hid it, lied about it, told my wife I didn't do that stuff... Then, when she found stuff on our computer and confronted me, I quit. I didn't realize how hurtful it was to her, and I didn't want to lose her. That was about 2 years ago.

I get h*rny as heck some days, but we don't have sex very often. I find myself thinking about sex a lot, but not with other women... I'm just horny and want to have sex. I don't chat with or email or text with anyone, or flirt.

When I had my porn habit, if she and I had sex, I might have no desire to look at anything or masturbate for 2-4 weeks. But, due to chronic illnesses she carries, we only have sex a few times a year. I'd get very, very h*rny in between those times, and got some release from porn and masturbation. Now, if I masturbate, I just focus on her and times weve been together.

While I don't look for porn anymore, I might sneak a look at the lingerie models in the catologues that come to our door, but nothing more than a quick look. If a good looking actress is on tv, I don't avert my eyes or look away, but neither do i mentally undress her or fantasize about her.

So, what is "normal"? I think about sex a lot. I look at other women from time to time. Sometimes I look for the pictures of lingerie models, like I said above. Some times it is hard to focus on work because I get so horny. But I am not looking at porn, not chatting, texting, hooking up, flirting, or anything, not fantasizing about anyone else, nothing! I can go a few weeks at a time without masturbating, but on a horny day, I might masturbate 2-3 times in one day. After sex with my wife, all this stuff goes away and I feel relaxed for a couple of weeks afterwards.

I've taken some of the self tests for sex addiction, and on a horny day, like today, I'll score very high. On a relaxed day, pretty darn low.

So, how do you know if someone is an addict? Does my behavior sound like an addict?

Well, obviously we are slow to address this issue, but it sounds like you were way into it, but now you are able to control it.

Maybe you could look the word up in a dictionary? I am thinking it's actually best not to label yourself as long as you just are mindful that you have the propensity to get heavily into it.

She shouldn't shame you over being horny or looking at porn. It would be like shaming her if she used toys while you were unavailable for sex. Men are more visual stimulation oriented. For a woman to be jealous of a porn actor... well, to me that is absurd. But some women are insecure. But, again, don't be ashamed of anything you have done because it is perfectly A-ok and certainly doesn't sound even close to the level of an addiction.

An addict is simply defined as one having the desire to stop, but unable to stop viewing and masturbating to pornography.

they key is you guys don't have sex very often...you aren't getting your needs met, it's perfectly normal to be horny..it's not like you are doing this 13 hrs a day.

with any addiction, if it starts to interfere with day to day life and performing your responsibilities..then it is indeed an addiction