[Jennifer b]

I love sex all kinds I love for more violence but I don't know how to open up to my husband so I look for sex from other guys and it makes me feel wanted till its over what's wrong with me? ?

[Travelinglady]

Hi, Jennifer b, and welcome to Psych Central! I can't diagnose you, but off hand, in general, I can say you have certain needs that you have to meet to be happy.

I suggest you see about getting your hubby and you into therapy. Or at least start by sitting him down and telling him what you need. Maybe he will be willing to give it to you. It's risky to step out with other men.

[dannyrose]

Originally Posted by Jennifer b

I love sex all kinds I love for more violence but I don't know how to open up to my husband so I look for sex from other guys and it makes me feel wanted till its over what's wrong with me? ?

Hi Jennifer, There's nothing wrong with you you it's just what you want to do with the husband you love. I should like my wife to be more aggressive with me during sex. I'm passive but if she wanted me to more aggressive I should role play with her if it satisfies her and makes her happy. Don't feel guilty.

[Feelinwobbly]

I do not know what the right answer is but I will relate this..

Married to the Love of My Life for 10 yrs. I kept a secret from her. I dont know how I am classified but I am a Transvestite who loves Women but likes Men sexually in some circumstances. Im also kind of a slut when acting in the feminine roll. I discovered I had a desire to have anonymous encounters with men while dressed as a women. I acted on this several times and then My Wife found out about the whole thing. She did not judge but even then I was unable to be completely honest with her about my 'secret'
Long story short...2yrs, marriage seperation....turns out that if I had given her full disclosure I could have 'had my cake and eaten it too' in the precense and company of my loving wife. ( things are still not hopless at this stage :-) )
You have to have that conversation with him...it may be the one he has been dreaming about.
Here is what I know ( not much ) about womens desire for violent sex...(Im only a very part time TV mostly live in my masculine roll)
My wife loves it rough. She likes to be manhandled. She really like the intruder into the house while sleeping scenario. It gets really physical sometimes, she like to be choked, humiliated verbally, slapped, spit on, called slut, ***** the list goes on. Its not about violence as such. She loves the loss of control it gives her and she looks at me with nothing but love while I do all these things.
What Im trying to say here is that what you want is not something that can truly be found from random encounters. My wife loves to be treated like this in bed...I do this for her because I love her.

[nicoleflynn]

Originally Posted by Jennifer b

I love sex all kinds I love for more violence but I don't know how to open up to my husband so I look for sex from other guys and it makes me feel wanted till its over what's wrong with me? ?

Hope you will get into therapy;; having sex with other guys is putting you in a dangerous situation;; you could end up dead.

Sex shouldn't be about violence.

[unicornlady]

Hi Jennifer, in my opinion the best thing you could do would be to talk to your husband. If you're honest and tell the whole story, I'm sure he will want to try for more "violence" in favor of putting you out there where you could be in real danger.