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New Member
Member Since May 2024
Location: Scotland
Posts: 2
1 hugs
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#1
Hi
I am living in a catch-22 situation, damned if you do and damned if you don't and it is getting very tough. i suffer from some chronic physical illnesses which get worse with stress, i also got mental health issues, anxiety, PTSD, and grieve, to name a few. I am also a carer to my wife who has physical and mental health issues. one of her biggest is Anthropophobia and PTSD. My caring role is very stressful as it is an emotional roller coaster not knowing how my day is going to be in relation to my wife’s moods. Before her breakdown, we were active swingers, carefree and i could satisfy my sexual addiction and indeed use it to help with a very stressful life. Now that is not possible and my wife is not on the same plane anymore, insofar she is not interested in sex as much as she used to be. So in this regard, we are very much opposites now. But i love her and i will stay with her, but i need sex. So any ideas are welcome, any anybody know any low-cost online counseling? |
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: The House
Posts: 1,198
2 817 hugs
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#2
Maybe someone at Human Verification could direct you to low-cost online counselling.
You were a swinger (I myself dabbled...) so why not ask your wife for her consent for you get back into The Lifestyle? That way you won't be "cheating" on her. Also be aware that there is such a thing as a high sex drive, but that is different from the constant need to self-soothe which sex can also be. Are there other things you could do to self-soothe that wouldn't be harmful to yourself or others? Or other activities: Lifting weights / Bodybuilding perhaps? Swimming? |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2021
Location: virginia
Posts: 323
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#3
good ideas!!
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New Member
Member Since May 2024
Location: Scotland
Posts: 2
1 hugs
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#4
Quote:
Thanks for the suggestions. Last edited by bluekoi; May 17, 2024 at 10:36 AM.. Reason: Fix quote tag. |
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TheGal
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: The House
Posts: 1,198
2 817 hugs
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#5
I'm so sorry for your and your wife's struggles.
What do you do to meet your needs? Do you watch porn? Would that be a bad thing to do? Do check out heypeers.com and also DBSA - Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance for support. There are also online sex addiction support groups that you could look up. I would also suggest Bessel van der Kolk (book The Body Keeps Score, also his YouTube clips about trauma). I wish I could've been more helpful. |
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cyberwarrior
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cyberwarrior
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: The House
Posts: 1,198
2 817 hugs
given |
#6
I also looked this up, maybe it would be helpful?
"healthy ways to self soothe" Also do you like music and gardening? For your wife, too? Learning an instrument might be helpful? I collect good classical and jazz CDs from thrift stores. But I also find sing aloud helps me. |
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cyberwarrior
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