[DocJohn]

Sexual addiction has come out of the closet, so to speak, in recent years and now appears to be recognized as a legitimate problem some people face. In recognition of this, we've created this forum to offer a supportive place for people who grapple with sexual addiction.

"Sexual addiction" is not a recognized mental health diagnosis at this time.

Please note that if you're easily triggered or are a minor, this forum may not be for you as much of the material discussed here will be possibly triggering or of a sexual nature.

Also, healthy interest in sex -- especially as a teenager, adolescent, or young adult -- is not considered a sex addiction. Here are the proposed symptoms of sex addiction:

http://psychcentral.com/lib/symptoms...diction/000745

DocJohn

[Brian37]

thanks for the info...as I sex addict myself, I find it very hard to find any mental health professionals with any experience in this area...unless you live in a large metro area

[KChrispcat]

Originally Posted by DocJohn

Sexual addiction has come out of the closet, so to speak, in recent years and now appears to be recognized as a legitimate problem some people face. In recognition of this, we've created this forum to offer a supportive place for people who grapple with sexual addiction.

Please note that if you're easily triggered or are a minor, this forum may not be for you as much of the material discussed here will be possibly triggering or of a sexual nature.

DocJohn

What is the definition of a sex addict?

[need_it_bad]

how does one know if they have a sexual problem or just really enjoy sex. I find myself always wanting it, even thou I was just satisfied. My husband will give me sex and I will orgasim, but then that night be able to get myself off again and then keep doing at least once a day if not more. Do I just love sex and the way it feels or do I have a problem. I am afraid to go to a place because I am thinking that I will want to hook up with someone there and have sex with them.

[lonelyperson92]

I need help, please look at the newest thread.

I want to get rid of this addiction because for me, it's disgusting, filthy and dirty.

Please help me.

[anneavonlee]

Hello, I am Anne. I don't know how to use this forum or this whole site, I can't seem to understand where posting should be placed for new comers. If you could help me that would be great. Thanks

[Christina86]

Originally Posted by anneavonlee

Hello, I am Anne. I don't know how to use this forum or this whole site, I can't seem to understand where posting should be placed for new comers. If you could help me that would be great. Thanks

Hello! Welcome!

New Member Introductions is here: http://forums.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=40 Click "NEW THREAD" to make your own post!

[babyfairyfifi]

Originally Posted by need_it_bad

how does one know if they have a sexual problem or just really enjoy sex. I find myself always wanting it, even thou I was just satisfieId. My husband will give me sex and I will orgasim, but then that night be able to get myself off again and then keep doing at least once a day if not more. Do I just love sex and the way it feels or do I have a problem. I am afraid to go to a place because I am thinking that I will want to hook up with someone there and have sex with them.

I'm a reformed sex addict but have had periods of no libido whatsoever ( due to depression, l later found out) and now have a high sex drive but do not have the sex addiction any longer.
You ask how to tell if you are a sex addict or not? From the main body of your question it seemed to me that you were just highly sexed but then I got to the last line :I am afraid to go to a place because I am thinking that I will want to hook up with someone there and have sex with them.

That line in itself may indicate a sex addiction depending on what that fear is based on, and how much that fear intrudes into your normal life.
In my mind, any addiction is easily identified as it is behaviour that gets in the way of having a 'normal' existence. If you are feeling horny and you have sex 20 times a day and feel great, and it doesn't impact negatively on your life or the life of your loved ones, then hey go for it! But, if you feel you need to have sex compulsively despite the ramifications and disruption it may cause to the rest of your life and your family, then that is a clear indication of an addiction.

My experience of sex addiction was that it was my way of trying to comfort myself after painful emotional incidences. I would reach for the phone to call someone to come over absolutely compulsively , but then never actually enjoy the encounter. I would reach orgasm but feel horribly removed emotionally and would often cry afterwards. I would always regret the encounter, but that in turn would lead to a vicious circle of my feeling low, then reaching for the phone once more.
It was only when I shared this with my sister ( who self harms) did I realise that that my behaviour and feelings leading up to the compulsion matched hers before she cut herself. I used a different implement to harm myself ...

My addiction came from a non sexual root, my early years relationship with my mother who has NPD.

I've now explored and come to terms with my past, and my sexual addiction has evaporated.
In its place is good self esteem, access to intimacy and a healthy , loving, fulfilling sex life.

Good luck, it's a long hard journey ahead, but it's worth it.

[ttlee]

i am a married man and i have a sex problem i want it and need it all the time or i get frustrated and want to go get it and i need some help before my marriage is over so please help

[ttlee]

i need help

[Klaus]

I am a 40 y.o. married, male, sex addict and also suffer from severe anxiety. I see and have seen a female therapist for a couple years now. As a man and a sex addict it is very easy to be triggered or want to act out, I am also an exhibitionist.
Here is what I am having trouble with. Recently I saw my therapist panties when she got into her chair for session, she often sits curled up in it and always wears dresses and skirts. This is about the 5th time I have seen them or up her dress in recent months. 3 weeks ago she leaned forward and I could see one of her nipples as her blouse and bra came forward. I told her as I have told her in the past when I can see her panties. She said I must be mistaken. I assure you I am not. As an addict who finds her attractive I look for these things. I know when I see them. Well last week I accidently took a whole Viagra before our session with all my morning anxiety and depression meds. I just wasnt thinking and I am new to having them. During session I became aroused and told her such because we were having a frank discussion about sex and the trouble I have had climaxing. (The reason I have Viagra is because the SSRI drugs reduced my ability to ejaculate at all and I was told this would help). I noticed several times that she was glancing over at my clearly visible arousal in my shorts. This just made me worse as an exhibitionist (and yes she knows I am, I have always been very open and honest). I actively began to move my erection with my arm as I tried to hide it but just again made it worse. Finally after about 15 minutes I suggested that maybe I should masturbate as I had not climaxed but had sex several times over the previous couple weeks and was very frustrated combined with the working Viagra and still changing cycle of meds I take. She suggested I cover my self with a pillow and go to the restroom to try. I didnt want to risk that so I asked if I could in her office, she agreed that would be safer and got up to leave. As she was leaving I was so aroused and into it I pulled my erection from my shorts and began before she left the office. She stopped at the door to get something, turned back and took a long look at my genitalia in my hand and then left. I did not climax because I thought she was angry or was going to fire me as a client for my behavior. She returned about 5 minutes later and knocked, asked if I was ok. I said there was no success and she came in and we finished the session. I sincerely apologized for my behavior and she said it was ok. Never once did she get mad, seem upset or scared. Is it just me or do I see several red flags in her bahavior? I ask, did she possibly enjoy this or want to be a part of it? As a sex therapist she is aware I would be attempting to see up her dress or down her shirt? Is she VERY understanding having known me for so long and let it slide? Should she have ended session and sent me away or even called the police for my behavior. As far as I am concerned she allowed me to act out. Is it possible she is actually a sex addict as well and also an exhibitionist and has been in a sense taking advantage of me all this time and now is starting to act out herself towards me? We often will have a hug after a session before I leave or she will pat me on the back. I have read that is also a no-no. I have a feeling I know the answer but should I seek out a new therapist? I am getting to the point to where I am addicted to coming to see her and I think she knows it.

[Margie Saez]

I date a guy who is a sex addict. He drives me insane asking me to do his one specific male friend while he watches and makes out with me and masturbates. He wants me to go to sex clubs and let men have sex with me while he watches and makes out with me. He sleeps around and says its ok cause he does not love me nor is in a relationship committed to me. He masturbates all the time he says and he says sexual things to friends and family i have found out. He was the high school ***** of his time. Why do i sympathize and stay with him?

[chasity]

Welcome. I'm new too.

[mikechaplin]

Originally Posted by DocJohn

Sexual addiction has come out of the closet, so to speak, in recent years and now appears to be recognized as a legitimate problem some people face. In recognition of this, we've created this forum to offer a supportive place for people who grapple with sexual addiction.

Please note that if you're easily triggered or are a minor, this forum may not be for you as much of the material discussed here will be possibly triggering or of a sexual nature.

DocJohn

can any body chat with about my sex ADDITION

[Whataguy7]

Originally Posted by ttlee

i need help

what is the probelem?

[peacenluv23]

Originally Posted by mikechaplin

can any body chat with about my sex ADDITION

http://slaaonline.org/irc/cgi/

That is an awesome Sex and love addicts chatroom.

[Nobuffoondoctor]

to Docjohn

What would you think of the hypothesis of an sexual disorder in the Mr DSK behaving?

[Blondie50]

I think I'm married to a sex addict. My husband picked up photography several years ago. Two years ago I discovered entirely by accident that he was doing nude private photo shoots. I asked he stopped. About a year later he sneaked off to a nudist resort for a photo shoot and then announced it to me in front of my sister (to hurt me). We split for a week and he came back promising nothing like this would ever happen again. I thought our trust was completely rebuilt when I discovered last week that he has maintained private nude photo shoots. Now he says he'll quit the private shoots all together in order to keep our marriage. Not only do I not believe him, I also don't believe it's my place to change him. I think people should be who they are. If that's who he is then it's up to me to decide if I want to live with it. We've been married for 15 years. I'm 10 years older than him and am going to be 50 years old next month. My hormones have gone nutso and my body is rejecting my previously younger, thinner, and more fit self. All of this is heading towards divorce and I'm not sure what I really want out of this anymore. I can't live with someone I don't trust and I will not spend the rest of my life checking up on him. I'm confused and don't know what to do ((

[Open Eyes]

I have often thought about this area.

I do wonder if it may be some form of just a desire for control. I can't help but think that it may very well be very similar to other things that people do to combat stress or feel some form of control

I think that when a drug taken prohibits one to climax, well that is really hard. I would suggest trying to find another drug that does not interupt in this process.

I have a feeling that some of the exibition is also a form of desire for control of some kind. Most bad behaviors are a desire for attention and some sort of control.

As far as the first question and your confusion about the therapist, well she does specialize in this area and part of that is being able to let the client express all the issues they have trouble with. I think that you are getting confused by her interactions with you. It is your perception problem, not hers. She is there to address your perception issues and concerns. No different than another therapist who allows a patient to express tears, anger, confusion and remorse. Those are all psychological emotions that are the signals given off from whatever a patient is struggling with.

A therapist cannot help you until you show all of you, not physically, but psychologically and emotionally in every expression and thought pattern.
I am sure that she has heard even seen others that express the same issues as you. She is used to it, it is something she hears and sees all the time. Her ignoring you is not because she wants to participate in it with you, she has to know all of your thoughts and struggles with it. So she can help you with it.

As far as the other questions are concerned about being involved with a person who has sexual issues. Please realize this is not a normal behavior and there are clear reasons for it. Yes your feelings of another person not really changing or getting a real handle on it are correct. When someone has a psychological issue and you notice it, well they will just have it somewhere else, not around you.

What that person really needs is a therapist that can help them understand why they do it or feel a need to do it. There is always a reason.

People handle stress in many different ways. It is a lack of control in some way. Trying to find some kind of control. And it can go all the way back to their early years or even some sort of perception issue within their brain function. It is best handled by a professional period.

For the person who does have an issue with this, the first place you can start is learning to admit it and then get help to address it. It may not be as bad as you think. It may be something that you can very well over come and be a happier person.

I do not have an issue with this but I have met people in my life that do have issues. I have also taken medications that interfere with being able to find that end realease. So, I stopped the medication.

Get help with your issue, and if you are with someone, then either ask them to get help with it or stop your relationship with them altogether.
You have to think about your own mental health.

[ArieTheFighter]

You consider sex disgusting, filthy and dirty? In my case I believe sex is amazing and great, it can be use for good purposes and connection and creation, but, in my case I use it to destroy myself and diminishes my quality of life and creates distress...

Arie

Originally Posted by lonelyperson92

I need help, please look at the newest thread.

I want to get rid of this addiction because for me, it's disgusting, filthy and dirty.

Please help me.

[Shelbyalexus]

Originally Posted by DocJohn

Sexual addiction has come out of the closet, so to speak, in recent years and now appears to be recognized as a legitimate problem some people face. In recognition of this, we've created this forum to offer a supportive place for people who grapple with sexual addiction.

Please note that if you're easily triggered or are a minor, this forum may not be for you as much of the material discussed here will be possibly triggering or of a sexual nature.

DocJohn

I really need professional help, but right now I have no health insurance..I have been suffering from Sexual Addiction for a very long time. Lately, I am out of control..

[madisgram]

a 12 step program of recovery, any one of them but particularly AA, might help you. just use sexual addiction in place of alcohol. these 12 step programs are FREE and there are many ppl who attend that have other addictions. you would find support there to learn how to change your behaviors into constructive living. hope this helps and u'll give it a go.
12 steps for everyone:
http://onpurposeplace.com/12steps.html

[Bill Penny]

My obsession comes from thinking about sex all of the time and it is a re-occuring fantasy, which as I get older becomes stranger and more upsetting. I am married with grown-up kids. I have never been unfaithful to my wife and never will be. But the fantasise seem to take a life of their own. I write poems about them, make up stories, fantasis when I should be working, reading, paying attention to important matters. Even now as I unburden myself I panic slightly about them.

[InvinoVeritas]

Again, it would be great to know who this is, as I would like to meet this therapist.

IV

Originally Posted by Klaus

I am a 40 y.o. married, male, sex addict and also suffer from severe anxiety. I see and have seen a female therapist for a couple years now. As a man and a sex addict it is very easy to be triggered or want to act out, I am also an exhibitionist.
Here is what I am having trouble with. Recently I saw my therapist panties when she got into her chair for session, she often sits curled up in it and always wears dresses and skirts. This is about the 5th time I have seen them or up her dress in recent months. 3 weeks ago she leaned forward and I could see one of her nipples as her blouse and bra came forward. I told her as I have told her in the past when I can see her panties. She said I must be mistaken. I assure you I am not. As an addict who finds her attractive I look for these things. I know when I see them. Well last week I accidently took a whole Viagra before our session with all my morning anxiety and depression meds. I just wasnt thinking and I am new to having them. During session I became aroused and told her such because we were having a frank discussion about sex and the trouble I have had climaxing. (The reason I have Viagra is because the SSRI drugs reduced my ability to ejaculate at all and I was told this would help). I noticed several times that she was glancing over at my clearly visible arousal in my shorts. This just made me worse as an exhibitionist (and yes she knows I am, I have always been very open and honest). I actively began to move my erection with my arm as I tried to hide it but just again made it worse. Finally after about 15 minutes I suggested that maybe I should masturbate as I had not climaxed but had sex several times over the previous couple weeks and was very frustrated combined with the working Viagra and still changing cycle of meds I take. She suggested I cover my self with a pillow and go to the restroom to try. I didnt want to risk that so I asked if I could in her office, she agreed that would be safer and got up to leave. As she was leaving I was so aroused and into it I pulled my erection from my shorts and began before she left the office. She stopped at the door to get something, turned back and took a long look at my genitalia in my hand and then left. I did not climax because I thought she was angry or was going to fire me as a client for my behavior. She returned about 5 minutes later and knocked, asked if I was ok. I said there was no success and she came in and we finished the session. I sincerely apologized for my behavior and she said it was ok. Never once did she get mad, seem upset or scared. Is it just me or do I see several red flags in her bahavior? I ask, did she possibly enjoy this or want to be a part of it? As a sex therapist she is aware I would be attempting to see up her dress or down her shirt? Is she VERY understanding having known me for so long and let it slide? Should she have ended session and sent me away or even called the police for my behavior. As far as I am concerned she allowed me to act out. Is it possible she is actually a sex addict as well and also an exhibitionist and has been in a sense taking advantage of me all this time and now is starting to act out herself towards me? We often will have a hug after a session before I leave or she will pat me on the back. I have read that is also a no-no. I have a feeling I know the answer but should I seek out a new therapist? I am getting to the point to where I am addicted to coming to see her and I think she knows it.

[shi man]

i am a 42 year old man my wife of three years is32 and she is bi i hooked up with her becuse she was the most beautiful woman i have ever seen i also found her by looking on my space under bi f she likes porn and likes girls she gave me the gratist gift eney one could give she trusted me and we had a few girlfriends we went to a few swinger partys we both loved it we had a few hear her peforms like a porn star with girls and has me joine in no man could ask for more but she is good to do this once in a while and i took her for granit i want it all the time i am pushing her away i talk about it to much dont get me rong i dont wont this so i can have sex with other girls unles she wants me to i love her to much and dont want to lose her so i need help