whats wrong with being a lesbian

snowyday09 · Jun 15, 2009 at 12:32 PM

i just came out.everyone acts like its big problem whats wrong

lynn P. · Jun 15, 2009 at 12:42 PM

Hi Snowyday09,
if it's your family who acting like that, perhaps they just need some time to get used to it. By brother(since passed) was gay and when I found out, I was surprised but quickly accepted it. I know many family members need time to accept that their child/sister/brother may never have the quote 'typical family' (husband,wife with 2 kids). They have to learn to let go of what they thought would happen and accept what may happen in your life. Give them time and hopefully they'll come around and accept you unconditionally. Best of luck.

TrespassersWill · Jun 15, 2009 at 01:39 PM

Hi Snowyday. Or Osiyo! Don't feel bad I think its just from the area you live in. You know the culture there and the religion factor makes people overly prude. I grew up in nearby town to where you have listed. Actually I have kin from your area, so it might be cool to talk if you feel up to PM'ing. I'll be on later tonight more. But anyway I grew up near there and the prejudice was unbearable even among strangers at work who were always demanding an answer to why I wasn't married nor had kids yet. I couldn't bring myself to say because I hadn't found the right WOMAN yet. lol Heck where I used to work back there they fired this young girl for being openly gay. I moved out West because I had enough of all that crap. Now I have two lives openly lesbian out here and closeted back home. If you can find a Unitarian Universalist church anywhere nearby they always have GLBT and most of the straights there are accepting and nice to lesbians.

Jun 15, 2009 at 02:06 PM

absolutly nothing.

change is hard for people.

are you comfortable with it? maybe it took you a little time to come to terms with it. hopefully everyone will make peace with it....until then...be accepting of them as they are accepting with you.

snowyday09 · Jun 15, 2009 at 02:16 PM

i am very confortable with it

3velniai · Jun 15, 2009 at 02:56 PM

absolutelly nothing, imo. You are who you are. I'm sorry ppl around you find it hard to accept it

notz · Jun 15, 2009 at 09:03 PM

You will find acceptance here.

Congratulations on accepting yourself! BTDT!

Others will come around on their own time schedule. Some may never come around, but that will be there own stupidity and loss. Allow them to have their own pace.

It does help to live where being gay or lesbian is just part of the make up of the neighborhood. Or at least visit nearby areas that have a large GLBT population to get a sense of community.

snowyday09 · Jun 15, 2009 at 09:18 PM

thanks notzs you help me understand alot

AAAAA · Jun 15, 2009 at 09:21 PM

(((Snowyday09))) I'm sorry that you're not getting the acceptance you need. I do not understand the hate and discontent. As a parent of a gay child my main concern is my son's health and safety. I worry about the twisted people in this world that hate him because he happens to be attracted to boys rather than girls.

susan888 · Jun 15, 2009 at 09:48 PM

Absoultely nothing wrong with being a lesbian if that is who your are!!! Congratulations on finding your true self!!!! So many of us struggle with that....even aside from sexual orientation!!! I think it is wonderful that you have found this piece of yourself!!! Really...again congratulations on finding yourself and being true to that!!!! AWESOME!!!!!

snowyday09 · Jun 15, 2009 at 10:25 PM

thanks everyone it means alot

Rhapsody · Jun 15, 2009 at 10:53 PM

There is nothing wrong with it - no more than there is with a white person and a black person falling in love and having kids... but our society likes life and people to be a certain way and they will make a fuse it things go differently than they think they should be / want them to be.

Hang in There... ((( HUGS )))

Monkeygirl · Jun 16, 2009 at 10:10 AM

Well done on coming out. I know how hard it can be. There is nothing wrong with you being a lesbian. As long as you are happy with who you are, other people whould accept that xx

notz · Jun 16, 2009 at 12:18 PM

See Snowyday, there's lots of acceptance here! Focus on you.

michele#3 · Jun 17, 2009 at 01:03 PM

Absolutely nothing. I'm so sorry people aren't as excepting as you need right now. I understand. When I came out all my family (except for my younger brother who was gay) freaked and didn't understand. Maybe in time they will except and perhaps understand. My family did.
If it is friends who are not excepting perhaps you need to find a new group of friends.

snowyday09 · Jun 17, 2009 at 08:11 PM

its actually bith family and friends that arent

notz · Jun 18, 2009 at 09:24 AM

Mine weren't either when I came all the way out. It took time for them to become adjusted, witness me as me, and come to feel and participate in my life. Some came along quickly, some slowly. One of my sisters still has problems but she's a bit of a butt hole anyway.

Someone told me once that it took my whole lifetime (at age 23) to come to terms with my sexual orientation, why would I expect everyone else to be totally comfortable overnight? Especially family!

Since then, I try to be gentle with them and be a guide and teacher. After all, it's foreign to them. I politely insist upon honest and respectful discussion. Learning how to do that can be done. To thine own self be true.

AAAAA · Jun 18, 2009 at 01:19 PM

Perhaps they're still in shock, was it a surprise? How long has it been?

T_Seul · Jun 21, 2009 at 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snowyday09

i just came out.everyone acts like its big problem whats wrong

There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian or gay or bi or straight or trans or what ever other thing we can add to the list. Someday the entire world will understand this and our children or grandchildren will have a better life because we chose to come out and show the world that we as "gay people" are just people with the same fears and desires and feelings as everybody else.

Be true to you and you will likely find many people who love and support you no matter what. You will find some who won't but in reality they were never really "there for you" anyway then and their leaving is a small loss in your life.

I_miss_my_kitty · Jun 30, 2009 at 04:28 PM

to some people it is wrong and you have to realize that, yeah you might have the right to be gay or bisexual or whatever but a lot of people see it as immorally wrong and as a sin and its best to be careful. not ever one agrees with a right or law etc. you can still be happy with out making you life choice public t everyone especially if they don't need to know really it non of their business. I wish you good luck in making the right choices.

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snowyday09 Junior Member Member Since Jun 2009 Location: cherokee nc Posts: 16 14	Jun 15, 2009 at 12:32 PM #1 i just came out.everyone acts like its big problem whats wrong
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Anonymous32437 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 15, 2009 at 02:06 PM #4 absolutly nothing. change is hard for people. are you comfortable with it? maybe it took you a little time to come to terms with it. hopefully everyone will make peace with it....until then...be accepting of them as they are accepting with you.
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snowyday09 Junior Member Member Since Jun 2009 Location: cherokee nc Posts: 16 14	Jun 15, 2009 at 02:16 PM #5 i am very confortable with it
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3velniai Veteran Member Member Since Sep 2008 Location: Middle of nowhere Posts: 744 15 30 hugs given	Jun 15, 2009 at 02:56 PM #6 absolutelly nothing, imo. You are who you are. I'm sorry ppl around you find it hard to accept it __________________ I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead I lift my lids and all is born again I think I made you up inside my head
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snowyday09 Junior Member Member Since Jun 2009 Location: cherokee nc Posts: 16 14	Jun 15, 2009 at 09:18 PM #8 thanks notzs you help me understand alot
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snowyday09 Junior Member Member Since Jun 2009 Location: cherokee nc Posts: 16 14	Jun 15, 2009 at 10:25 PM #11 thanks everyone it means alot
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Rhapsody Wise Elder Member Since Jan 2006 Location: Florida Posts: 9,946 18 1 hugs given	Jun 15, 2009 at 10:53 PM #12 There is nothing wrong with it - no more than there is with a white person and a black person falling in love and having kids... but our society likes life and people to be a certain way and they will make a fuse it things go differently than they think they should be / want them to be. Hang in There... ((( HUGS )))
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Monkeygirl Junior Member Member Since Jun 2009 Posts: 11 14	Jun 16, 2009 at 10:10 AM #13 Well done on coming out. I know how hard it can be. There is nothing wrong with you being a lesbian. As long as you are happy with who you are, other people whould accept that xx
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notz Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Oct 2008 Location: Notzville Posts: 60,397 (SuperPoster!) 15 6,732 hugs given	Jun 16, 2009 at 12:18 PM #14 See Snowyday, there's lots of acceptance here! Focus on you. __________________ notz
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michele#3 Grand Member Member Since Mar 2009 Location: Seattle Posts: 869 15 69 hugs given	Jun 17, 2009 at 01:03 PM #15 Absolutely nothing. I'm so sorry people aren't as excepting as you need right now. I understand. When I came out all my family (except for my younger brother who was gay) freaked and didn't understand. Maybe in time they will except and perhaps understand. My family did. If it is friends who are not excepting perhaps you need to find a new group of friends.
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snowyday09 Junior Member Member Since Jun 2009 Location: cherokee nc Posts: 16 14	Jun 17, 2009 at 08:11 PM #16 its actually bith family and friends that arent
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AAAAA Elder Member Since Oct 2007 Location: Midwest Posts: 5,042 16 1 hugs given	Jun 18, 2009 at 01:19 PM #18 Perhaps they're still in shock, was it a surprise? How long has it been? __________________ I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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