[thunderbear]

I am a happily married woman. But sometimes during clitoral stimulation by my husband i find my self fantisizing about women. IRL I don't want to be with a woman in a relationship. But i think women are sexy. In high school I had two relationships with other women. I loved one of them. But she moved away. Recently I saw her at a socail gathering and she wanted to take me to dinner and her place. I said no because I am married. But the idea of being around her again was exciting. We were always good friends anyway. And i guess i may have left over feelings for her. But I enjoy sex with my husband. I enjoy being with a man. I must be sexually confused and it scares me becaue my family are religious fanatics. The only person I have to talk to about it that would under stand is my uncle. He is gay and has been married to his partner for almost 10 years, but I am afraid he would tell my dad because they are close. i just need advice on this. It is causeing a moral conflict in my soul.

[dearyou]

Well, if you are sexually attracted to both men and women, sure, but even if you are, that doesn't mean you can't be happily monogamous with your husband.

[reina29]

I am very bisexual and very much in love with my husband. But...and I'm sorry if you don't want to hear this...we are not monogamous. And that is a choice we have decided on together. I have a girlfriend as well who is best friends with my husband. And we are all ok with this situation. I understand it doesn't work for everyone but it works great with us. I had a lot of issues while I struggled with monogamy and thinking I was cheating but I never had an issue admitting to myself I was attracted to women. I have known that since I was very young. Much luck on this journey...

[_Hope_]

do what makes you happy as long as you are not hurting anyone

[Heartachehannah430]

I say, just do whatever makes you happy and content with your life!

[miray]

I agree with dearyou and reina. Just because you are attracted to women doesn't mean you have to act on it. You don't act on other men you find attractive...do you? There is also the other end of that spectrum. There are several happily married couples out there with open relationships. As long as everyone involved is aware and okay with that, there is nothing wrong with it, in my opinion. That could also be something to think about. Best of luck to you thunderbear

[notz]

Thunderbear,

There is such a complex biological response happening during the lovemaking process! Sometimes it can throw us a curve ball, don't worry, it's all normal. Fantasy thoughts during lovemaking are just thoughts. Thoughts don't make you bisexual, homosexual or heterosexual.

Once, a friend confided she fantasized about bestiality during sex. She was a wonderfully kind wife and mother, her fantasies were, well, just fantasies that worked for her.

I've learned to talk to my spouse about my fantasies, even the ones I'm apprehensive about. I have to bring light to them because of my childhood sexual abuse issues. The whole "keeping a secret" thing can get out of whack for me if I keep it in.

I don't recommend acting on the fantasy in real life. That's a fat grenade without a pin, ya know what I mean!?

[thunderbear]

Originally Posted by notz

I don't recommend acting on the fantasy in real life. That's a fat grenade without a pin, ya know what I mean!?

LOL notz! I like that analogy. But no I wuld'nt act on them because I would still consider that cheating. My friend tried to tell me it would'nt be cheating because it was with another woman not a man but still sex outside the marraige in any form with anyone is still cheating. I think anyway.

[T_Seul]

Originally Posted by thunderbear

LOL notz! I like that analogy. But no I wuld'nt act on them because I would still consider that cheating. My friend tried to tell me it would'nt be cheating because it was with another woman not a man but still sex outside the marraige in any form with anyone is still cheating. I think anyway.

Nothing wrong with having sex with a man or a woman or both for that matter but as you say, you are married and if you take the marriage vows seriously then...I agree cheating is cheating.

[thelionkinglives]

As far as I'm conserned, in the Lions Kingdom all women are bi-sexual
That's my story & I'm sticking to it..
You know, your husband may not really have an issue with it...
I sure as heck wouldn't

LK

[bearchic34]

Ugh! Ignore the male that had to make his opinion known.
Thats the beauty of fantasy. You can think it, don't have to share and you get the enjoyment. I'll be honest, and LK doesn't even know ( Until now i supose) I have never been interested in a specific woman but I have thought more and more what it would be like....it's just like fantasy with other men, famous...I mean men do it a lot so why should women feel guilty about it. I don't think you are necessarily bi but experimented as a teen.
Talk to your hubby about your feelings if it's really bothering you....LK told me I could have all the women I wanted.....and it wouldn't be cheating, I said him first! With a guy of course. LOL

[thelionkinglives]

bearchic34
OK uncle!! I'm only huMAN errr Lion...I must admit this is getting good

Ugh! Ignore the male that had to make his opinion known.
hey!! This isn't the women's only forum
Thats the beauty of fantasy. You can think it, don't have to share and you get the enjoyment. I'll be honest, and LK doesn't even know ( Until now i supose)
Please...go on!!
I have never been interested in a specific woman but I have thought more and more what it would be like....
I knew it...I'm wearing you down baby! Told ya so, told ya so
Just in time for your GIRL friend to come & stay a week or so with us next month
it's just like fantasy with other men, famous...I mean men do it a lot so why should women feel guilty about it.
Never got into the famous thing too much....with one exception whose name I dare not speak
I don't think you are necessarily bi but experimented as a teen.
Disagree...remember my golden rule
Talk to your hubby about your feelings if it's really bothering you....

LK told me I could have all the women I wanted.....
I sure did...& I meant it
and it wouldn't be cheating, I said him first! With a guy of course.
*shivers & gags* what the heck did you have to go & ruin a perfectly good thread with a crazy comment like that

LK

[Michah]

babe, fantasies are fantasies. I have known that I was bi-sexual from the age of 15. How you conduct yourself is not about your sexual orientation, it is about your value system. I have been with my partner for 5 years, we do sometimes end up appreciating the same pretty girl walking by!!, but thats all. We both know where we stand and I would no sooner be unfaithful to him with a man or woman.

Try and not get hung up on it........you are not doing anthing wrong and i do not necessarily think that you are bisexual.......more just a harmless and enjoyable fantasy. The only time you may have to reassess is if you met a woman and fell in love with her, then your emotions may become very conflicted.

Stupid question maybe, but have you talked to your husband about how you are feeling? It may help......

Good luck and stop being so hard on yourself!!...... I have fantasies about vampires, figure that one!!!

[krzyk101]

Hi, I am not married and never have been so, so in that aspect of marriage and sexuality I do not have much experience to add input or advice to you.

I have been struggling with my sexuality for decades, and to date I have determined that for me, I believe that in the intimate relationships with that of the same sex were confusing for me and my MI and still struggle in the terms of if I am either Gay or Bisexual.

In the last almost 7 years I have not had sexual relations with either sex and though in some ways I long to be close to a Man and be held or spend time with, I desire not to have intimate relations, I had one time a gay lover who later married and once he then married, I decided that my own personal policy on this would be for me to not or end all intimate or sexual relations with him, as I see it when he married he chose one sexual partner, took the wedding vows and I do not much like to think of myself as being an adultress in the area.

I have had to realize that for me, I feel I will never marry a woman as I am not 100% certain that I could be strong enough in the flesh to not fall in love with a Gay man and thus Hurting her, so for me, I find that the answer is in my situation to have good and loving friends.

I hope that it all works out between you and your husband, and believe that indeed honesty is the key to any relationship.

Take cAre,
KK101

[Melis85]

If you dated a girl and had real feelings for her then I would say you are Bi but like some of the others have said you don't have to act on it. You might want to talk to hubby about it if he is open minded enough not to freak out. Otherwise just keep it to yourself it is not a bad thing to be Bi, Bi people are just as capable in having relationships without a 3rd person involved

[ADHD1956]

Originally Posted by thunderbear

I am a happily married woman. But sometimes during clitoral stimulation by my husband i find my self fantisizing about women. IRL I don't want to be with a woman in a relationship. But i think women are sexy. In high school I had two relationships with other women. I loved one of them. But she moved away. Recently I saw her at a socail gathering and she wanted to take me to dinner and her place. I said no because I am married. But the idea of being around her again was exciting. We were always good friends anyway. And i guess i may have left over feelings for her. But I enjoy sex with my husband. I enjoy being with a man. I must be sexually confused and it scares me becaue my family are religious fanatics. The only person I have to talk to about it that would under stand is my uncle. He is gay and has been married to his partner for almost 10 years, but I am afraid he would tell my dad because they are close. i just need advice on this. It is causeing a moral conflict in my soul.

Hi!

You love and enjoy sex with you husband, and at the same time, you fantasize about women, you are human and there is nothing wrong with fantasies. I presume you have a healthy sexual relationship with your husband, if so, enjoy your fantasies, if need be discuss them here on this site where you can feel safe.

Peace!

ADHD1956