Very confused

Hi I'm a 30 yr old lesbian and have been with my 23 yr old partner for about a yr and a half, the problem is she has recently told me about some of her sexual thoughts and I don't know how to handle the info I was told so I'm hoping you guys can help me.

She said that she used to go online and look at gay male porn and masturbated to it (she did this quite often), also she looks at men in the groin region quite often (she says that she just wonders what is there), she also used to do cyber sex with both men and women.

She has never had sex with a man and says she never wants to but I am so scared that one day she will want to explore that option. we have a healthy sex life and I know she is turned on by women I am just worried that she is also turned on by men. Can you please help me.

This issue sounds no different for couples that are straight and imo I say you either trust your mate or you do not... and while the looking at other people sexually may hurt the feelings of one partner is does not mean that he or she is going to cheat... many people (bi, straight, gay) masturbate to photos of the opposite sex or sexual orientation and still remain in love and wanting of their present mate... its just raw human nature at its finest.

I'm a 26 year old lesbian. I too sometimes watch gay male porn. Actually, the only porn I watch is gay male porn. I am not sexually attracted to men, but I have my reasons for liking gay male porn. If you haven't already, maybe you should ask your girlfriend to tell you why she watches that instead of lesbian or hetero-porn.

Are you her first girlfriend? Or is she your first? If either of those can be answered with a yes, that might have more to do with your worries than the porn does.

Even if she is just curious, it doesn't have to mean she will act on it.

Very true, she is probably just curious.... and would not act on it. Also, it may be a means of satisfying curiosity without cheating because she truly wants to be with you yet has this overwhelming curiosity that has to be met somehow... kind of like trying to get the inner voice to quiet down because the relationship you are in is totally awesome and you do love the person... if that makes any sense. I am speaking from experience. Good luck, it's a good thing she opened up and told you about this.... it is the ONE THING I have been embarassed to tell my girlfriend about (and I tell her absolutely every other thing most people would be embarassed about...) anyway, good luck.

I'm a woman whose with a man, but I consider myself bi...though I have been questioning lately how far on the gay end of the scale I am, because I had such an intense connection with a woman. But basically I would just say I think peoples' sexuality is really varied and porn doesn't have to have much to do with what someone would even want in rl. Because I watch some things that don't even have to do with stuff I want...seriously.

Maybe it's my bi-ness talking but it just seems natural to me to wonder about something she hasn't experienced, and if there's some kind of pressure or taboo not to look at it, all the more reason it might be sexy...now that's my twisted side talking :P

I've known many straight women online who were into gay male porn, so I don't think your partner's interest indicates any likelihood of cheating.