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New Member
Member Since Sep 2009
Posts: 2
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Sep 20, 2009 at 09:39 PM
#1
hey guys . . just need an advice because suddenly my wife does not want to have sex with me. . and we used to quarrel about it. . could someone give an advice to have our sex life back to normal?
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,269
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Sep 21, 2009 at 12:39 PM
#2
Hi Jay,
what do you quarrel about - for example was it the frequency, not wanting to do something etc?? I see you have 2 posts in this section and I like what the 1st poster said about - is your wife tired or on medication. I think you need to gently ask her why she's avoiding you. My husband used to argue about sex too. It's never good to argue because then it brings alot of tension, into what should be a relaxing time between the two of you. For me it got to the point where I felt like it was a chore for me, instead of a choice. Sit down with her and without blaming - try to talk openly as to why there's this problem. I believe sex starts way before the bedroom, with being kind and loving to each other throughout the day. Find out from her what she needs to feel more relaxed. In addition try to do some nice things for her, like helping around the house with things that would mean alot to her. I would also if you can afford it - go out on a date with your wife and reconnect with what brought you together in the first place. Another great thing that we women appreciate is to cuddle with her - but not necessarily leading to sex(unless she chooses to). This will show her that you genuinely want to FEEL close just because you love her and not for your own needs. Try your best never to argue about sex - this creates resentment and guilt which puts a real damper on sexual desire. I don't know if you have children - but caring for kids can really put alot of stress on the woman, where all she wants to do is sleep LoL. Just talk to her in a loving way and find out from her what she's really feeling. Best of luck to both of you. 
__________________  This is our little cutie Bella  *Practice on-line safety. *Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts. *Make your mess, your message. *"Be the change you want to see" (Gandhi) |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2008
Location: SC
Posts: 4,083
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Sep 21, 2009 at 01:05 PM
#3
Hi Jay...
In the gentlest, most compassionate way you know,,,try to find out why.."suddenly" is the key word here...This means something happened...it was not a gradual moving away. Without knowing "why" there is little chance of changing it. With Care, Lenny __________________ I have only one conclusion,,and that is things change too quickly for me to draw them.... Sobriety date...Halloween 1989. I was plucked from hell...and treat this gift as if it is the only one... |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2009
Posts: 369
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Sep 24, 2009 at 08:48 PM
#4
Also realize that many medications can kill sex drive, and not just anti-depressants. Has she had to start any new medications?
__________________ I am not a medical or mental health professional, nor do I play one on TV, I just talk kinda like one!  Blessed are the cracked for they let in the light! They say I have A.D.D. but I think they are full off...  Oh look! A CHICKEN! Be careful how you look at the world, it may look back!  How do you want to be seen? |
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New Member
Member Since Nov 2009
Posts: 1
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Nov 17, 2009 at 08:13 AM
#5
My wife is on many medications for diabetes, heart, blood pressure and has no desire for sex any more It is frustrating .
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Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 9,946
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Nov 17, 2009 at 02:29 PM
#6
Emotional issues, lack of intimacy outside of the bedroom, physical female problems, a past affair and/ or many different medication can cause a wife (or any person at that) to loose interest in sex... can you please fill us in a little more on your life with your spouse so we can get an ideal to what the issue may be?
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