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  #1  
Old Sep 23, 2009, 09:22 PM
salukigirl's Avatar
salukigirl salukigirl is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2007
Location: Fayetteville, AR
Posts: 2,798
My boyfriend and I have been together about 8 months and we have sex about 3 times a week on average which I feel is pretty normal. Well the past couple months, the amount hasn't changed, but out of those 3 I orgasm maybe once. He orgasms every time. It's like I get so close, then right when I'm about to, he does and I can't after that because he can't stay hard once he has orgasmed.

He has gained about 20 lbs in the last couple months because he quit working out and all his stamina is gone. He can't go for more than 10 minutes now. I don't think sex is all there is to a relationship but at the same time, it is very intimate and I feel like this is causing me to be less sexually attracted to him. Not because of the weight gain because, honestly I haven't even noticed. But I only get to orgasm maybe half the time now and I just don't feel into it anymore. As a consequence I feel like my emotional needs aren't being met because I don't get that connection with him during now. I'm afraid that this might ruin things because I feel like that is a sorta large part of a relationship: being able to satisfy your partner and having that connection while making love and I just don't feel it now because it's turned into wham bam thank you ma'am.

He said he knows he needs to start working out again and will be really into it for a week or two then it stops again. If he keeps gaining weight I'm afraid it will get even worse. What should I do? I don't want this to ruin things.

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  #2  
Old Sep 24, 2009, 03:52 AM
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Maven Maven is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2005
Location: South Jersey, USA
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He needs to do stop before he gets to the point of ejaculation, massage and stimulate you in other ways until you're close, and then go back to intercourse, so you can have your orgasm, and then he gets his.

See if you can get a book called SHE COMES FIRST by Ian Kerner. You might find it helpful.
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  #3  
Old Sep 24, 2009, 06:07 PM
salukigirl's Avatar
salukigirl salukigirl is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2007
Location: Fayetteville, AR
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I'm mostly worried about his health and what this means for the future.
  #4  
Old Sep 25, 2009, 11:35 AM
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pachyderm pachyderm is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Washington DC metro area
Posts: 15,865
Eat less.

Energy in = energy out or you gain weight!
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When all have given him o'er
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Thou might'st him yet recover
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