am i a ?

S *** am i a slut for exploring sex in the way i have? I went on a relationships forum and talked about sex and felt very judged about it. Made me feel low and dirty for my feelings and what i do.

Your sexual desires are what they are. You were brave to try and discuss them [I have not seen your post], and I am sorry that you felt negatively judged. That does not seem like an appropriate response for this forum.

no it wasn't pc! It was a different online community, that would never happen here. there responses made me feel insecure and wrong. The topic was the same as the other thread of mind in here.

I do think you are being too hard on yourself. The world has a lot of people that think only their way is the correct way. They also seem to get pleasure from putting down others and making them feel bad. We all have our own values and opinions. I just let the comments of the closed minded pass right on through. Keep your standards and feelings just like they are. You are a good person, so you have nothing to change.

thanks Reg

I really hate the word "slut." Men aren't sluts, they're studs. Women shouldn't be ashamed of enjoying sex and exploring sex, and while I'm not suggesting it's a good idea to be promiscuous, one shouldn't be labeled "dirty" or a slut for it. Especially since many people who behave promiscuously do so because of past abuse or rape, or low self-esteem. Calling such a person a slut is like kicking a person when they're down.

omg. Is that true? the part you wrote about ppl acting promiscuous because of past abuse. Cos a part of me thats split off is obsessed with sex and looking at sexual things and getting involved sexually. That might be why. Thanks for your comment on this.

No problem. I've heard many psychologists discuss that on talk shows and I've read many articles in magazines and online. It's not uncommon for a person who's promiscuous to have had abuse in her life.

NO you are not a slut...... asking & talking is the way we learn.

Hey. I feel and think the same way. Im struggling right now. Im a girl, but I think I would do better as a guy..and I don't know what's going on.. :S I hope we'll find an answer soon.

argh. My friends boyf was flirting with me on chat. I feel like i'm betraying my friend. But i'm not flirting back. I feel used. I have had sex with him before and don't know what to do now.

crystal~

I've been following your posts about your encounters with your gf and her bf, (have replied on a couple). You've mentioned that your past sexual adventures that had included the 3 of you have subsided due to some complications. Had one encounter with him alone afterward, and since have stopped completely because of your friendship with your gf, (want to keep it good between you and her). Yet, bf has been perusing you since, with gf unaware...is that correct?

Have you discussed the behavior of bf with your gf? If not, is there a reason why you haven't?

I fail to understand why you are feeling used, or feeling any sort of responsibility for HIS behavior. You have done nothing wrong, and have no reason to feel badly whatsoever.
Perhaps talking with your gf is the next step to take?

I hope this all works out for you.

Take care.

Shangrala