[lovefew-fearnone]

Okay so I have been seeing this girl for a while now and while she is ready to lose her virginity to me it seems that there is something stopping her and I am really not sure what it is. I mean we have done sexual things but everytime it comes down to actually we are in the mood and ready to do it she just shuts down and locks me out and says no lets stop. I have not pushed it any further than necessary but I am just really not sure what to make of all this. it is all she talks about but now it seems she never wants it and never will want it. Im really lost here. help would be much appreciated.

[Rhapsody]

If she has ever been sexually abused then having sexual intercourse with some one may be very difficult for her - even if the other person is a dear loved bf or even a spouse.

[lovefew-fearnone]

okay well this morning I got to go into school late and so did she so we took advantage of that and once again I attempted to at least get her willing to try. I succeeded and once things started getting heated up shed decided that she was ready to have sex.
well it started off okay but with her being a virgin and everything she was not ready for the pain and such. so she said stop and once again i listened. I really do love her and I know that this is gonna take some time but I'm just really not sure how to help her or help anything about the situation.

dazed and confused.

Originally Posted by Rhapsody

If she has ever been sexually abused then having sexual intercourse with some one may be very difficult for her - even if the other person is a dear loved bf or even a spouse.

[HereIamBp]

A person can only lose their virginity once. It's obviously an enormous step/decision for her. It's a waiting game. It may be a week, a month, a year or more. Give her time and try to take the pressure off.

[lovefew-fearnone]

any ideas on how to remove the pressure?
I mean everything i have with her seems to be perfect.
I know that her losing her virginity needs to be perfect too.
I dont want her to regret this decision or anything else that happens between us.........

[RomanSunburn]

I'm curious... Did you guys try to have sex on school grounds? Because if that's the case, that alone could be adding another level of stress for her. I would suggest a really relaxing setting with no time constraints. Also, it worries me that you say that you "once again attempted to get her at least willing to try." That says to me that you're pressuring her a little and she might not actually be ready (just likes to talk about it). My suggestion is don't even bring it up, don't try to have sex, just let her call the shots. When she is ready, she'll let you know on her own.

[lovefew-fearnone]

okay no we did not try it on school grounds and it was her idea to have sex. i just got her warmed up and she brought it up and told me to go upstairs and everything. its not like i say hey I wanna have sex lets try. no its nothing like that. its more like we are doing our thing and then she decides that she is ready and i say okay lets try. today was the closest we have ever gotten to actually having sex. So long story short no we didn't even think about doing it at school and no I am not the one bringing it up.

[Rhapsody]

Originally Posted by lovefew-fearnone

any ideas on how to remove the pressure?

Since she is a virgin I would not say that it is a matter of removing the pressure, but more of you being patient until "she is ready" - and you must also realize that you may not be the one she loosing her virginity to... so if you really do care for her just continue being there with her as a couple and do not let the fact that you two are not having sexual intercourse be a controlling factor in the relationship.

BTW - it was six month of dating the same guy before I decided I was ready to take that final step in our sexual relationship.